Plan to Stay in LOVE!

by Andy Stanley

Falling in love is easy.

It involves butterflies and long walks on moonlit beaches. You hear wedding bells, see fireworks and fall into something that feels perfect.

Staying in love, however, is not so easy.

Once the initial shine of new love has worn off, obstacles and hurdles appear seemingly out of nowhere. There are warts; there are regrets — there is baggage.

Sometimes, staying in love feels impossible.

Though divorce statistics jump all over the place, there is little denying that we are a culture prone to giving up on love. We are a culture that believes when the going gets tough, the tough just go. We run from the pain and challenges in our relationships and wonder how we could ever feel so far from someone we once felt so close to.

But what if staying in love is possible? What if working hard, instead of giving up, is the key to passionate, long-lasting, true love? What if real relationship starts when we get real about staying in love?

We've all wondered what it's like to be truly treasured by someone. To be needed and missed and loved. Not just for a long weekend or even a decade, but for 20 years, 30 years, 40 years, and more.

I believe it is possible to experience a love that goes the distance. It's a gift God longs to give us, and there are four things we can do to accept that gift:

Make love a verb.

For many of us, the concept of love is difficult because we never learned the right form of love. We focus on the external qualities of love and ignore the internal. We treat love like a noun. It's an experience that happened. A moment. A thing.

But in John 13:34, we see a different side of love. John says, simply and honestly, "Love one another." It is not a one-time event. It is not a fireworks feeling or a field of flowers. It's an action. A verb. It's not just about choosing the right person; it's about becoming the right person, the type of person who loves the way Christ loved us.

Put your spouse first.

For years, I waged steady opposition to my wife's plan to add a garden to our yard. I reasoned that when you consider all the time and money invested in a garden, you're no better off than if you'd bought your veggies at the grocery store. Besides, the crop I care about (coffee beans) grows on trees, not in gardens.

For a long time, I had a good case going ... until I read Philippians 2:3 again: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." I wish that were a complicated verse with multiple Hebrew variations. But it's pretty simple: Value others (in this case, your spouse) above yourself.

Don't try to prove you're smarter or better at the family budget. Plant your wife a garden. In order to stay in love, we need to change our approach to determining what is valuable. We have to demonstrate an interest in things because they are interesting to the people we are interested in. By doing this, we learn to put our spouse first.

(Watch Andy Stanley talk more about putting your spouse first in a video clip from his Staying in Love DVD.)

Pay attention to your heart.

Imagine you are a mug with thousands of tiny beads inside. Each bead represents a negative feeling or painful experience or unfulfilled expectation. You are careful to keep them inside. Then you meet someone and think she just might be the future Mrs. Mug. So, you are gentle and thoughtful around her. You make certain that as few beads as possible spill out on the road to the altar.

But a month or a year later, suddenly there's an issue: She gets upset for no apparent reason; or you don't call, though you said you would; or she feels ignored. Your mugs bump into each other, jostling your beads. Jealousy spills out. Anger overflows. All the stuff that was hidden during the courtship is on display.

This is the type of situation the Bible anticipates when it implores us to guard our hearts. When your emotional "beads" get bumped, stop and think about what you are feeling before you speak. Name what you are feeling with specific words: "I feel jealous" or "I feel angry." When you name your feelings, they lose their power. If appropriate, tell your spouse what's going on in your heart. Healthy people stop doing hurtful things when they learn what the issues are. And they stay in love by paying attention to their hearts.

Fill the gaps.

In every relationship, there are gaps between what is expected and what actually happens. We have fairytale views of how marriage will be, and they fail to materialize. We have expectations of how a spouse should act at a dinner party, and that doesn't go as planned. We have ideas about when our partner should come home at night, and the reality is different. Gaps open up all around us.

When that happens, we have two choices: We can believe the best, trusting that there is a reasonable explanation for our spouse's behavior. Or we can assume the worst, reading disrespect, hurt and a thousand other things into those situations.

Into those gaps, 1 Corinthians 13 walks boldly. Long used in weddings, these popular verses describe the nature of love. Beyond the verses about love's patience and kindness, we find a plea for the gaps. We find help for the holes. Verse 7 says love "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

In a marriage, that means when you have a chance to doubt or trust, you trust. When you have a chance to give up or hope, you hope. When you have a chance to quit or persevere, you persevere.

One of the most powerful ways to fill the gaps is to believe the best about your spouse. Such an attitude communicates, "I trust you. Even before I hear your explanation, I trust you."

It is possible to stay in love, but it does take more than fireworks and moonlit beaches. Falling in love only requires a pulse. Staying in love? That requires a plan.

Watch Andy Stanley talk about putting your spouse first in a video clip from his Staying in Love DVD.

---

Andy Stanley is a pastor, author and founder of North Point Ministries.

This article first appeared in the November/December, 2010 issue of Thriving Family magazine. Copyright © 2010 by Andy Stanley. Used by permission. ThrivingFamily.com.

Go Home And Love Your Wife!

"Love is....

....born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation!"

~Jose Marti y Perez (1853 - 1895)

How To Be A Better Wife

(From A Holy Experience.)

I ask him at the end of the trail, the end of the weekend, the end of fifteen years. I ask him before we set out again.



We sit under the oaks, green banners flying in the wind. There had been a pause in our passing of words back and forth and it was what I was really wondering, so I’d stepped out into the fear (who knows how’d he answer?) and just released the words, slow and quiet, one at a time.


“How could I be a better wife to you?”


His eyes hold me. Like he knew we were coming to this. This bare, unashamed place. Intimacy is only a possibility when we slip out of small talk and gently peel off a layer of the heart. The leaves wave.


I wait while he gathers thoughts, watch the trees in June blue. The curve of his hand cups mine, a sure warm wrapping.


And then he speaks softly, wind in leaves.

Read what this husband answers here.  And may the grace of the covenant be yours today.

To make you laugh at yourself:

"She's My Wife!"

A man’s wife had Alzheimer’s and had to be placed in a nursing home. Every day that husband would go to the nursing home and spend time with his wife. He would talk to her, read to her, comb her hair, and try to meet her various needs. Before he left her room, he would tell her he loved her and kissed her goodbye. He did this day after day, week after week, and month after month. He never missed a day. Often he would bring her fresh flowers.

After one of his daily visits, a group of nurses asked to meet with him. They spoke admiringly of him and told him that everyone was impressed with his faithfulness and the special way he cared for his wife.

“But we want you to know that you don’t need to come every day to see your wife,” the head nurse said gently. “She doesn’t know that you are here and doesn’t even know who you are. …There is absolutely no need for you to feel like you have to keep coming day after day.”

The husband lifted his head. Tears ran slowly down his cheek. In a quiet voice, he said, “I know she doesn’t know who I am, but I know who she is, and that’s what matters. She is my wife! Fifty years ago I made a covenant with her that I would never leave or forsake her and that I would be with her in sickness and in health. And I intend to keep that covenant.”

Fred Lowery in Covenant Marriage


Matthew 19: 4-6- “ Haven’t you read,” He replied (Jesus), “that at the beginning the Creator (God) ‘made them male and female, ‘ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united (joined) to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

 After I read this story, I thought to myself, “This husband truly understands what the covenant of marriage is.”

It is an amazing testimony of one husbands love and commitment to his wife. When he said in sickness and in health, he really meant it. It is sad in today’s world; we don’t understand what a covenant is. It is not a contract that can be voided. A covenant in marriage is a lifetime commitment between husband and wife. It is non-negotionable. In Matthew 19 when the Pharisees tested Jesus on divorce, He takes them back to Genesis 2: 24-25. To leave and cleave was Gods’ command before the law. Before Moses allowed divorce due to the hardness of heart. God designed marriage to last a lifetime. To reflect and reveal who He is. I pray that we as Christians can get back to Gods’ original design of marriage. A covenant that will not be broken.

Even through all the hurt’s and disappointments, through sickness, through financial struggles, and through the attack’s of the enemy. Let no man and no circumstance separate what God has joined together.

Mark Soto

How To Really Fall In Love All Over Again

(Love Affair by Andy Warhol)

After writing the post on Marital Drift and having the song by Erin O'Donnell speak so deeply to my soul, the Lord brought this post before me.

I share an excerpt, but the whole piece is definitely worth your time.

"Funny, how love, this thing muscular and the only eternal, this bridge between our souls, it will sag sorely under pressure, love can’t bear the weight of our expectations, cracking at the joists where I slam foot in demand, where I peer laser sharp in the over analysis. Our bridge has near split, swayed and only grace saves us.

The days and the years, they teach me the startling; love can’t be strong-armed by the tongue. Love isn’t a function of communication. Love’s a function of connection; the gentle whoosh and rush of the blood through the veins, the tender connecting of the one flesh.

Poor communication doesn’t disconnect souls. It’s the disconnected souls who poorly communicate. I am learning.

Words may only magnify the fractures.

It’s the souls that laugh.

That let eyes linger and the fingertips meet, that find their way back to the beginning and share the values and the relive the memory and the flame every morning. How we first fell and ignited. Can I call that place home?"

Read the rest here. 

Towards the end of the post the author give a challenge on how to fall in love with your spouse.  It's an inspired idea.  Please take the time to check it out.

4 minutes times 4 affirmations, 4 hugs, 4 fixations = Fresh Love!

(The Kiss, by Gustav Klimt, 1907)

Agalliao

Is this how Jesus will present us to His Father?  We think, YES! 


Gana and Daja



Marriage is sacred.  It was created to be the wedding portrait of Christ and His Bride hung over the blazing fireplace of judgement.  A match made in Heaven, a contract signed in blood.  In the bond of marriage, we are to stand at the altar of Sacrifice or we're not to stand at all.

Colossians 1:16-17, gives us this assurance-- "...by him all things were created...and in him all things hold together."

God alone created marriage.  Adam slept through the entire ceremony.  Eve came in late.  It seems to me men are still sleeping through marriage and women are still coming to their senses a little too late.  God alone performed that ceremony and He alone can hold it together.

Much of our disillusionment over marriage stems from the fact that we've been duped into believing that good equals easy.  In other words, we often assume that if something is difficult, it can't be of God.  Nothing has been more difficult for Christ than the marraige to His Bride yet Jude 24 says He'll present her to His Father with great joy!  The Greek root word is "Agalliao."  It means "to show one's joy by leaping and skipping denoting excessive or ecstatic joy and delight!"  Just picture it.  After all the ups and downs in the relationship, after all the marriage has cost Him, He'll act like a love-struck boy introducing his girl to his dad for the very first time.  Why? Because He thinks she was worth it.

On the pleasant days of marraige, gaze across at your groom and conclude that he is worth it.  On the difficult days of marriage gaze up at your Groom and conclude that He's worth it.

"A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."  Ecclesiastes 4:12b

(by Beth Moore from her book Things Pondered.)

I'm More In Love Today!

I love my wife Raquel more today than I ever have before. It is my wife’s birthday tomorrow. I have been doing a lot of thinking, praying about all the things I am thankful for. Of course yesterday was Thanksgiving. I am truly a blessed man to have my beautiful wife Raquel in my life. She has definitely made me a better man. We have been together for 18 years. I can’t say that all those years were the best of times, but for all that we have been through I would not change a thing. I thank God that He took a marriage on the verge of divorce and is now using us to minister into other couples marriages. How good of a Father do we serve! There was a time when my wife told me that she did not love me anymore. She actually told me that I disgusted her. But when we allow God to work in our circumstances and hand it over to Him, we allow God to create miracles. And a miracle He did in our marriage. When I look back at all that my wife and I have been through, it brings a smile to my face to see how far God has brought the both of us. My love for her grows every day. It’s not that we don’t have our moments when we irritate or get on each others nerves, we do, but it's that God has shown me to look past those areas of our marriage and see the beautiful bride He has blessed me with. My wife is truly a godly woman. She walks it every day of her life. She is an example to our daughters of what a godly woman looks like. Thank you babe for passing on a gift like that to our precious girls. She is more beautiful today than the day I met her. We were not Christians when we first met. When I met her she was smoking hot. Not only is she smoking hot today, but she radiates the beauty of God. I could honestly say, she has got the whole package. She loves the Lord with all her heart, mind, body, and soul. She is a wonderful wife who truly makes me feel like the luckiest guy in the world. God really loves me! She is the sweetest mother to our two girls, our son and our daughter-in-law. And she is going to be the hottest grandma around. So babe, thank you for loving me as I am. I love you too much to not try and become that godly man that God commands me to be. You deserve the best that I have to offer. Even though I am not perfect and will make mistakes, I will continue to allow God to show me where I need to grow. Thank you for all the hard work you do to serve us. I know your job as a mother never ends. You are an amazing woman. I look forward to the years ahead. So, Happy Birthday Babe, I love you more and more every day.

Love Always,
Mark (your hubby)

Brave Affairs

I referenced this blog post at the last cell group. It's so beautiful, please read it and be inspired!

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2009/09/brave-affairs.html

He lies stretched out in the dark and I lay long beside him, listen to him breathe, only sound there is. This is our love story, the one we’ve written with years and skin and the rings.

In his sleep, he finds my hand.

It’s the only one I’ve known. His only, hands larger than the rest. Hand in mine, that wraps around a waist, draws in close, slumbering strength always holding on.

I don’t know how another man’s skin feels.

My grandmother lived that kind of courage. The kind that made a vow and had the bravery to let it age. Wrinkled faithfulness of monogamy, pedestrian, the kind that finishes well, parades up through the Arc de Triomphe, battle scarred, and the tourists blithely shuffle by and the pigeons take to oblivious wing. She told me about this.

I remember it, nights like these.....

Warm it falls on nape of my neck, his sleep breath, close. I press closer. The drama's in the long faithfulness, and aged love is the heroic. God knows the passion of a covenant.

Read the rest (it's sooooo good) here: Holy Experience.

Living By Vows

One of my favorite books of all time is a tiny little book called "A Promise Kept." In it Robertson McQuilken, who was the president of Columbia International University, tells the story of his dear wife's slow slide into Alzheimer's Disease. He writes, "Twenty summers ago, Muriel and I began our journey into the twilight. It's midnight now, at least for her. Sometimes I wonder when dawn will break. Even the dread Alzheimer's disease isn't supposed to attack so early and torment so long.

"Yet, in her silent world Muriel is so content, so lovable, I sometimes pray, "Please, Lord, could you let me keep her a little longer?" If Jesus took her home, how I would miss her gentle sweet presence. Oh yes, there are times when I get irritated, but not often. It doesn't make sense. And besides, I love to care for her. She's my precious."

His commitment to his promise to Muriel is so breathtakingly beautiful, if you read the book and don't cry, you'd better check your pulse! It stands in such stark contrast to the ideas of commitment in our post-modern world. In our world if your needs aren't being met your allowed to bail. But to McQuilken, his vows were not just words, but what he lived by.

You can read part of his story in an archived story at Christianity Today. Please go read it and allow the Lord to speak through it to you.

McQuilken writes: The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel "in sickness and in health...till death do us part."....integrity has something to do with it. But so does fairness. She has cared for me fully and sacrificially for all these years; if I cared for her for the next 40 years I would not be out of her debt. Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. But there is more: I love Muriel. She is a delight to me--her childlike dependence and confidence in me, her warm love, occasional flashes of that wit I used to relish so, her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual distressing frustration. I don't have to care for her. I get to! It is a high honor to care for so wonderful a person....It is more than keeping promises and being fair, however. As I watch her brave descent into oblivion, Muriel is the joy of my life. Daily I discern new manifestations of the kind of person she is, the wife I always loved.

Please read the archived article here.

Love and Respect

Family Cell 5/15/09

Love and Respect
What’s love and respect got to do with it?
Ephesians 5:33- “However, each one of you also must love his wife as
he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
-Women need love (unconditional) from their husbands.
-Men need respect (unconditional) from their wives.
-God commands a man to love his wife and likewise God commands a
wife to respect her husband.
-Why not husbands respect your wife, and wives love your husbands?
-Wouldn’t that be easier since love is more natural for women and respect
is more natural for men?
-God knows us better then we know ourselves.
-God is our creator and loving Father. Before He formed us in the womb
He knew us.
-God understands when a wife is loved by her husband and a husband is
respected by his wife we become one and fulfill each other through God.
-Genesis 2:24- “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Speak Love
-Our words can build up or tear down.
-Proverbs 12:18-“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of
the wise brings healing.”
-Husbands need to affirm, encourage, and bless our wives with pleasant
loving words.
-Let your wife know how much you need her. Remember God created us
as equals.
The Ultimate Need is Love
-Ephesians 5:25- “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the
church and He gave Himself for her,”
-Husbands, we need to learn to die to our own selfishness as an act of
love. When we as husbands deny ourselves, our wives receive it as love.
-Emerson Eggrich states that a wife has an air hose that goes to a love
tank.
-She needs love like she needs air to breathe.


-As husbands we can easily stand on our wives air hose when they don’t
feel loved.
-When our wives don’t feel loved, they react without respect.
-God commands a husband to love. Love does not come as natural to men
as in women.
-As we seek to become the man God wants us to be, we will learn to love
our wives as God commands us. We as men must die to our selfishness,
pride, isolation, lack of communication. We must learn to follow the
example that Jesus set before us. We must become more like Jesus.
-The result is a wife who feels and experiences unconditional love and a
marriage that grows in commitment, trust, fulfillment, and oneness.

Why Respect, Not Love?
-1 Peter 3:1-2- “…. Even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they
may be won without a word, but by the behavior of their wives, as they
observe your respectful behavior.”
-Like wives, husbands have an air hose to a tank labeled respect.
Husbands need respect, just as he needs air to breathe.
-When a wife is careful to show respect in obedience to God, her husband
will stay connected and teachable.
-A husband needs a wife who is behind him, believing in him,
appreciating him, and cheering him on.
-Our culture has the idea of love must be unconditional, but respect must
be earned. It has given a wife license to express, “I love him, but don’t
respect him.”
-In Ephesians 5:33 God commands a wife to respect her husband. He
does not command love, but respect.
-God knows love flows natural from a woman, but respect is not.
-Author Shanti Felhahn surveyed 800 men and women. She asked,
“would you rather feel alone and unloved or would you rather feel
inadequate and disrespected?”
-Overwhelmingly the men chose alone and unloved and the women chose
inadequate and disrespected.
-God has wired men and women different. Not wrong, just different.
-Your husband wants and needs to make a contribution through his life
that is worthy of respect.



-Without respect a husband will lack confidence and he will eventually
withdraw.
-A wife doesn’t need to feel respect in order to show respect
(unconditional). This is an act of obedience to what God commands of
wives in covenant of marriage.
- Showing respect does not give a husband a license to do
whatever he desires.
-Wives pray for your husbands as head of household, encourage him,
praise him.
-God holds your husband responsible for the welfare of your home and
marriage.
-Ask yourself, “are you willing to die to your selfish nature and become
transformed in the likeness of Christ Jesus?” When we do, God will show
husbands how to love unconditional and wife’s how to respect
unconditional and we will honor God with our marriage.

A Husbands Love
-When you love her for who she is in Gods image
-You want to pray for her
-You want to be with her face to face (transparency)
-You empathize with her
-You resolve/reconcile with her
-You are completely committed to her
-You treasure her above all else

A Wife’s Respect
-Respect him for who he is in Gods image
-Appreciate his desire to work and achieve
-Appreciate his desire to protect and provide
-Appreciate his desire to be strong and to lead
-Appreciate his desire for a shoulder to shoulder friendship
-Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy

12 Ways to Keep Your Love Alive

1. Praise is such a great gift, and it's so easy to give. So look at the things that make your spouse and others unique and develop the habit of praising them for those special things.
2. Every painful trial is like an oyster, and there is a precious pearl—a personal benefit—in every one; every single one.
3. Don't go it alone. Welcome fresh insights of other perspectives—from extended family, friends, good marriage books, or a qualified marriage counselor.
4. In a mutually satisfying relationship, both people's needs are expressed, and they have the flexibility to give and take.
5. Honor goes hand in glove with love, a verb whose very definition is doing worthwhile things for someone who is valuable to us.
6. All our trials, great and small, can bring more of the two best things in life: love for life and love for others.
7. Oneness does not mean that one mate dominates the other or that the stronger controls the weaker.
8. Anger is our choice. We can choose to see its powerful potential for destruction and take steps to reduce it within us. Otherwise, it's and iceberg sinking our love.
9. Better understanding of the motivations and actions that grow out of our basic personalities can help us achieve personal and marital satisfaction.
10. Sharing deep feelings with each other is emotional intercourse, and it's vital to sexual satisfaction.
11. As we reach out to another, our own needs for fulfillment and love are met.
12. Give seven or more praises for every one fault-finding suggestion.

Unconditional Love

Family Cell 4/3/09

Unconditional Love:

How does God show us unconditional love?
- He shows us through inexhaustible forgiveness.
- John 3:16- “For God so loved the world that He gave his
only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should
not perish but have everlasting life.”

Love Creates an Open Atmosphere
- 1 John 4:18- “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out
fear, because fear involves torment.”
- When we have an open atmosphere created by love, we are
able to have transparency with our spouse/children.
-We must work to create an atmosphere where we value and
appreciate each others strengths, weaknesses, ideas, and so on.

Love Can Last A Lifetime
-Romans 5:8- “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we
were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
-Love is not determined by the one being loved, but rather by the one
choosing to love.
-The bible refers to this type of love using the Greek word agape.
-Agape love is selfless and unconditional.
-Agape love says I love you in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, for
better or worse.
-1 John 4:19- “We love, because He first loved us.”
-We will struggle and fail to love if we don’t allow God to fill us with His
love.
-We can’t give away what we don’t have.
-John 14:14- “If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.”
-Ask the Lord to fill your heart with His love and ask Him how to give that
love to your spouse/children. (This should be done daily)
-John 13:34- “A new command I give you; love one another as I have loved
you, so you must love one another.

Love is Learning
-Proverbs 24:3-4- “By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is
established; and by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and
pleasant riches.”
-Remember when you first started dating your spouse?
-You wanted to learn all you could about them. You would ask a thousand
questions, speak for hours, and write letters.
-You studied him or her.
-At what point do we stop learning about our spouse? Is it our careers,
our children, our selfishness, or just the daily hustle and bustle of life?
-Difficulties in relating with our spouse can be due to not understanding
them. This also applies to our children.
-Love takes the initiative to begin to learn and understand our spouse.
-Proverbs 18:15- “the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.”
-Learn to listen to your spouse. Hear their hearts desires.
-Remember we don’t need to be problem solvers. Just a listening ear.
-Ask God for discernment
-God is a giver of wisdom. Ask God to show you what you need so you can
learn to love your spouse like He loves your spouse.
-Make your spouse your chosen field of study. Learn all you can about
your spouse and your children.
-Learn how to fill your spouses love tank.
-You will reap the investment you put into your spouse.

-LOVE NEVER FAILS

True Love ~ Musings on I Corinthians 13

We watched a movie recently and a line was, "Why do two people get married anyway? How can you promise to feel the same way forever?"

I agree with the girl who said this. You can't promise to feel a certain way forever. Feelings are very fickle and do not always behave very rationally.

But, what this girl failed to realize is that love is not a feeling and marriage is not a promise to feel anything.

Love is the unconditional commitment to act in a loving manner. This is love between a man and his wife, a mother and her children, neighbors, and the lost. If we say we love someone it means that we commit to behave in a loving way--even when we don't feel like it!

When those that I'm close to try my patience and I feel like throwing in the towel, I will remember, "Love suffers long..."

When that person cuts in front of me at the grocery store and I'm tempted to burn them with my laser stare, I will remember, "Love is kind...."

When my girlfriend's husband brings her flowers and whisks her off on romantic weekends or buys her a new dishwasher, I will remember, "Love does not envy..."

When my husband brings me flowers and whisks me off to a romantic weekend or buys me a new dishwasher, I will remember, "Love does not parade itself, it is not puffed up..."

When I'm tempted to give my husband a cold shoulder or tell him to take a cold shower, I will remember, "Love does not behave rudely..."

When I'm tempted to spend the grocery money on a new pair of shoes, I will remember, "Love does not seek its own...."

When the children start the day whining and it only gets worse from there, I will remember, "Love is not provoked..."

When my mind wants to play all the what ifs, I will remember, "Love thinks no evil...."

When I'm flipping channels and tempted to linger a little at that interesting daytime drama, I will remember, "Love does not rejoice in iniquity..."

When the enemy tells me that I'm not in love anymore or that my husband isn't in love with me anymore I will tell the enemy to hush because, "Love rejoices in the truth..."

When life throws me all sorts of curves and my rose colored glasses get fogged up with my tears I will remember, "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

When I don't know what to do next or what choice to make. I will take necessary risks because, "Love never fails."

Marriage, parenting, Christianity--or any other worthwhile commitment in this life--is not based on feelings. It's a commitment that even when I don't feel like loving you, when you are not being lovable, when I'm tired, when I'm hurt, I will behave in a loving way. That's Christian love.

Too bad the mother of the girl in the movie didn't explain that to her. Instead she said, "Yeah, sometimes things change."