Love and Respect

Family Cell 5/15/09

Love and Respect
What’s love and respect got to do with it?
Ephesians 5:33- “However, each one of you also must love his wife as
he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
-Women need love (unconditional) from their husbands.
-Men need respect (unconditional) from their wives.
-God commands a man to love his wife and likewise God commands a
wife to respect her husband.
-Why not husbands respect your wife, and wives love your husbands?
-Wouldn’t that be easier since love is more natural for women and respect
is more natural for men?
-God knows us better then we know ourselves.
-God is our creator and loving Father. Before He formed us in the womb
He knew us.
-God understands when a wife is loved by her husband and a husband is
respected by his wife we become one and fulfill each other through God.
-Genesis 2:24- “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Speak Love
-Our words can build up or tear down.
-Proverbs 12:18-“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of
the wise brings healing.”
-Husbands need to affirm, encourage, and bless our wives with pleasant
loving words.
-Let your wife know how much you need her. Remember God created us
as equals.
The Ultimate Need is Love
-Ephesians 5:25- “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the
church and He gave Himself for her,”
-Husbands, we need to learn to die to our own selfishness as an act of
love. When we as husbands deny ourselves, our wives receive it as love.
-Emerson Eggrich states that a wife has an air hose that goes to a love
tank.
-She needs love like she needs air to breathe.


-As husbands we can easily stand on our wives air hose when they don’t
feel loved.
-When our wives don’t feel loved, they react without respect.
-God commands a husband to love. Love does not come as natural to men
as in women.
-As we seek to become the man God wants us to be, we will learn to love
our wives as God commands us. We as men must die to our selfishness,
pride, isolation, lack of communication. We must learn to follow the
example that Jesus set before us. We must become more like Jesus.
-The result is a wife who feels and experiences unconditional love and a
marriage that grows in commitment, trust, fulfillment, and oneness.

Why Respect, Not Love?
-1 Peter 3:1-2- “…. Even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they
may be won without a word, but by the behavior of their wives, as they
observe your respectful behavior.”
-Like wives, husbands have an air hose to a tank labeled respect.
Husbands need respect, just as he needs air to breathe.
-When a wife is careful to show respect in obedience to God, her husband
will stay connected and teachable.
-A husband needs a wife who is behind him, believing in him,
appreciating him, and cheering him on.
-Our culture has the idea of love must be unconditional, but respect must
be earned. It has given a wife license to express, “I love him, but don’t
respect him.”
-In Ephesians 5:33 God commands a wife to respect her husband. He
does not command love, but respect.
-God knows love flows natural from a woman, but respect is not.
-Author Shanti Felhahn surveyed 800 men and women. She asked,
“would you rather feel alone and unloved or would you rather feel
inadequate and disrespected?”
-Overwhelmingly the men chose alone and unloved and the women chose
inadequate and disrespected.
-God has wired men and women different. Not wrong, just different.
-Your husband wants and needs to make a contribution through his life
that is worthy of respect.



-Without respect a husband will lack confidence and he will eventually
withdraw.
-A wife doesn’t need to feel respect in order to show respect
(unconditional). This is an act of obedience to what God commands of
wives in covenant of marriage.
- Showing respect does not give a husband a license to do
whatever he desires.
-Wives pray for your husbands as head of household, encourage him,
praise him.
-God holds your husband responsible for the welfare of your home and
marriage.
-Ask yourself, “are you willing to die to your selfish nature and become
transformed in the likeness of Christ Jesus?” When we do, God will show
husbands how to love unconditional and wife’s how to respect
unconditional and we will honor God with our marriage.

A Husbands Love
-When you love her for who she is in Gods image
-You want to pray for her
-You want to be with her face to face (transparency)
-You empathize with her
-You resolve/reconcile with her
-You are completely committed to her
-You treasure her above all else

A Wife’s Respect
-Respect him for who he is in Gods image
-Appreciate his desire to work and achieve
-Appreciate his desire to protect and provide
-Appreciate his desire to be strong and to lead
-Appreciate his desire for a shoulder to shoulder friendship
-Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy