So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.— Matthew 5:23–24
An unforgiving Christian is an oxymoron. If you are a Christian, then you must forgive, because forgiven people are forgiving people. Therefore, you cannot be an unforgiving Christian. And if you want your prayers to be answered in the affirmative, then you must forgive others. Jesus gave this command: "If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God" (Matthew 5:23–24).Jesus also taught us to pray, "And forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us . . . (Luke 11:4). We need to learn to forgive, because we are all flawed. We will sin against people, and people will sin against us. Husbands will offend their wives, and wives will offend their husbands. Parents will offend their children, and children will offend their parents. Family members will offend one another. Friends will offend one another. So we must choose to forgive. We must determine not to let those offenses keep us from communion and fellowship with God.It may be that someone has really hurt you. You may even have every right to be angry and bitter. But do you know who gets hurt the most when you harbor anger and hostility and vengeful thoughts toward someone? You do. And not only that, you are cutting yourself off from fellowship with God. Ephesians 4:32 tells us to "be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another. . . ."When God forgave you, did you deserve to be forgiven? Does the person who hurt you deserve to be forgiven? Forgive anyway. Based on God's love and grace, we should forgive.
Greg Laurie
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Do I Have A Right To Be Offended?
(Excerpt from Daffodil Dreams blog.)
In my meditations lately, relationships have been heavy on my heart. I’ve been noticing a phenomenon lately. One that has no wisdom, Biblically or otherwise, as a foundation. But widespread nonetheless.
What is this prevalent, though unwise, thought? The thought that one should never be offended. That if one is offended about anything, something is wrong. Something needs to be said, done, or corrected. Someone needs confronting. And then, of course, a person also has the perfect right to stew about it.
However, Jesus says in Matthew 18:7, that offenses WILL come. So, the first thing we need to come to terms with is that offenses WILL COME. There is no way around that. You will be offended by your spouse. By your parents. By your child. By your boss. By your employee. By your neighbor. By the person sitting next to you in church. The only way to not be offended by someone is to not let your life touch that person or that person touch your life. Since you cannot follow Christ and also not be in fellowship with His Body, that is not an option.
(Read the rest here. You will NOT be disappointed!)
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
The D Word
I stumbled across an excellent blog post that I wanted to share with you. It pretty much captures everything I want to say to my generation--many so ready to jump ship on their marriages!
Here's a teaser, but I encourage you to read the whole thing!
I'm from a broken home myself. My parents divorced when I was too young to even know, and for years and years afterward I was in the middle of their little game of tug of war. If I could change my life, I would want them to stay together. I don't know that I would've wanted them to stay together the way they were - with the anger and resentment - but in my mind it would've been a triumph if they had overcome that - and would have spared me a lot of pain in life. If they could've managed to even be civil to one another under one roof, I have doubt at all in my mind that my life would've been a whole lot better.
I find it very irritating when people say that it's "better for the kids" if they divorce. Statistics do not hold that to be true. Most couples fight. And most studies I have seen say those children are still better off than children of divorce. Both economically and emotionally. A lot of people just use that as a rationale because they are going to divorce anyway for reasons other than the sake of the kids, and they don't want to feel guilty about it. But it isn't better for the kids. It hurts children when parents divorce, and it goes on hurting for a long time.....
They always say that relationships are built on trust. In my opinion, it's more about forgiveness than trust. Anyone you trust is going to let you down sometimes. Everyone falls short sometimes in life, but especially from the high expectations of an adoring spouse.
And it's about kindness too. No one wants to live with someone with whom there is no peace. If you can't be kind to one another, then I say grow up and learn how to be kind. I don't mean fake-kind with gritted teeth behind the smile. I mean truly kind, from the heart. If you find it so difficult to be truly kind, then deep down you are harboring anger - which springs from unforgiveness. I don't say, well if you can't be kind just call it quits. No, because then you will remarry and the whole process will start all over again with someone else because guess what! He's going to be imperfect too! Don't bother trying to tell your spouse WHY you are harboring unforgiveness, this is guaranteed to put them on the defensive and start a new fight - just forgive and move on!
Read the rest at Be Still My Soul. It's really worth the read! Go check it out!!
Here's a teaser, but I encourage you to read the whole thing!
I'm from a broken home myself. My parents divorced when I was too young to even know, and for years and years afterward I was in the middle of their little game of tug of war. If I could change my life, I would want them to stay together. I don't know that I would've wanted them to stay together the way they were - with the anger and resentment - but in my mind it would've been a triumph if they had overcome that - and would have spared me a lot of pain in life. If they could've managed to even be civil to one another under one roof, I have doubt at all in my mind that my life would've been a whole lot better.
I find it very irritating when people say that it's "better for the kids" if they divorce. Statistics do not hold that to be true. Most couples fight. And most studies I have seen say those children are still better off than children of divorce. Both economically and emotionally. A lot of people just use that as a rationale because they are going to divorce anyway for reasons other than the sake of the kids, and they don't want to feel guilty about it. But it isn't better for the kids. It hurts children when parents divorce, and it goes on hurting for a long time.....
They always say that relationships are built on trust. In my opinion, it's more about forgiveness than trust. Anyone you trust is going to let you down sometimes. Everyone falls short sometimes in life, but especially from the high expectations of an adoring spouse.
And it's about kindness too. No one wants to live with someone with whom there is no peace. If you can't be kind to one another, then I say grow up and learn how to be kind. I don't mean fake-kind with gritted teeth behind the smile. I mean truly kind, from the heart. If you find it so difficult to be truly kind, then deep down you are harboring anger - which springs from unforgiveness. I don't say, well if you can't be kind just call it quits. No, because then you will remarry and the whole process will start all over again with someone else because guess what! He's going to be imperfect too! Don't bother trying to tell your spouse WHY you are harboring unforgiveness, this is guaranteed to put them on the defensive and start a new fight - just forgive and move on!
Read the rest at Be Still My Soul. It's really worth the read! Go check it out!!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Forgiveness
Family Cell Notes
3/6/09
Forgiveness:
Why must we forgive (especially in marriage)?
-God commands us to forgive.
Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ forgave you.”
Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your heavenly Father forgive your trespasses.”
Forgiveness is a decision I make to obey God.
One definition of marriage is inexhaustible forgiveness.
Drop Your Grudges
-Did you know that the longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets?
-On the other hand, when we choose to forgive, we shed a huge burden that simply doesn’t need to weigh us down.
-Holding a grudge is the same as passing a judgment on someone else or your spouse. Matthew 7:1-2 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” (This is called the boomerang effect)
-Judging, just like taking vengeance, belongs to God, not us. Romans 12:19 “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord”
-God is the only true Judge.
-People who wrong others are offending God at the same time.
-Lay down your grudges and let go of your desire to see justice done.
-Relieve yourself of the responsibility that actually belongs only to God.
Resolving Conflict Requires Forgiveness
-God insists that we are to be forgivers and in marriage, probably more than any other relationship, presents frequent opportunities for practice.
-We don’t forgive under duress, scratching and screaming in protest. We do it with a gentle spirit and love. (Eph. 4:32)
The Seventy Times Seven Club
-We should take out a joint membership in this club. Matthew 18:21-22 Peter asked, “Lord how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” As you can see inexhaustible forgiveness is required in marriage.
Prayerfully Apply the Oil of Forgiveness
-Mixing forgiveness with the habit of praying together is one way to reduce friction and make marriage run more smoothly.
-How can you remain angry at someone who is praying blessings over you daily and asking forgiveness for wrongs committed?
Forgiveness Does Not...
-Forgiveness does not mean excusing sin.
-Forgiveness does not mean that you will forget the offender’s sin.
-Forgiveness does not require denying or stuffing your feelings.
-Forgiveness does not always lead to instant reconciliation.
Forgiveness Does
-Forgiveness is proactive (you make a decision to obey God)
-Forgiveness embraces the offender. Luke 23:34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”
-Forgiveness surrenders the right to get even
-Is there anything you need to ask your spouse to forgive you for today?
-Are you holding onto an offense that needs to be released by granting forgiveness towards your spouse?
-Remember we all stumble; we all make mistakes in marriage.
-Do not keep a record of wrongs against your spouse. Wipe your spouse’s record clean through forgiveness, just as your Heavenly Father has done for you.
Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Psalm 103:12 “…as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us…”
Jeremiah 31:34 “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”
Forgiveness Is A Decision I Make
3/6/09
Forgiveness:
Why must we forgive (especially in marriage)?
-God commands us to forgive.
Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ forgave you.”
Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your heavenly Father forgive your trespasses.”
Forgiveness is a decision I make to obey God.
One definition of marriage is inexhaustible forgiveness.
Drop Your Grudges
-Did you know that the longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets?
-On the other hand, when we choose to forgive, we shed a huge burden that simply doesn’t need to weigh us down.
-Holding a grudge is the same as passing a judgment on someone else or your spouse. Matthew 7:1-2 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” (This is called the boomerang effect)
-Judging, just like taking vengeance, belongs to God, not us. Romans 12:19 “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord”
-God is the only true Judge.
-People who wrong others are offending God at the same time.
-Lay down your grudges and let go of your desire to see justice done.
-Relieve yourself of the responsibility that actually belongs only to God.
Resolving Conflict Requires Forgiveness
-God insists that we are to be forgivers and in marriage, probably more than any other relationship, presents frequent opportunities for practice.
-We don’t forgive under duress, scratching and screaming in protest. We do it with a gentle spirit and love. (Eph. 4:32)
The Seventy Times Seven Club
-We should take out a joint membership in this club. Matthew 18:21-22 Peter asked, “Lord how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” As you can see inexhaustible forgiveness is required in marriage.
Prayerfully Apply the Oil of Forgiveness
-Mixing forgiveness with the habit of praying together is one way to reduce friction and make marriage run more smoothly.
-How can you remain angry at someone who is praying blessings over you daily and asking forgiveness for wrongs committed?
Forgiveness Does Not...
-Forgiveness does not mean excusing sin.
-Forgiveness does not mean that you will forget the offender’s sin.
-Forgiveness does not require denying or stuffing your feelings.
-Forgiveness does not always lead to instant reconciliation.
Forgiveness Does
-Forgiveness is proactive (you make a decision to obey God)
-Forgiveness embraces the offender. Luke 23:34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”
-Forgiveness surrenders the right to get even
-Is there anything you need to ask your spouse to forgive you for today?
-Are you holding onto an offense that needs to be released by granting forgiveness towards your spouse?
-Remember we all stumble; we all make mistakes in marriage.
-Do not keep a record of wrongs against your spouse. Wipe your spouse’s record clean through forgiveness, just as your Heavenly Father has done for you.
Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Psalm 103:12 “…as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us…”
Jeremiah 31:34 “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”
Forgiveness Is A Decision I Make
To Obey God.
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