Love Is...Positive

1 Peter 4:8- “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

One of the things I love about my wife is that she’s persistent. If she gets something in mind, she makes it happen. One of the things that irritates me about her is her stubbornness. What’s the difference between persistence and stubbornness? When she pushes her persistence too far. Or from my perspective, whether I agree or disagree with what she’s doing!
I can’t love stubborn people. If Karen’s vacuuming the floor, and I step in front of her to get a hug, if I’m not careful, I’ll get sucked up in the vacuum. She’s completely on task.
If I see that stubbornness (the negative characteristic) it becomes difficult for me to love her. If I focus on the persistence (the positive side) and remember that this is part of what I love in her, not only do I nurture and grow what’s positive in her, but I nurture and grow my character too.
How do we best do that? The apostle Paul tells us: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).
We need to concentrate on things that are the best, not the worst.
Michael Systma in Marriage Partnership

Bonus Reading: 1 John 4:7-16, 20-21

My Response: One attribute or character trait I appreciate most about my spouse is…

I can relate to this story. My wife can also be persistent herself. When I got home from work this morning, I crawled into bed with my wife to cuddle. I laid there with her for about a half an hour, and when she woke up, the first thing she said was, “I got to do laundry”. For me I’m thinking about just sitting and sipping on my coffee, and enjoying talking with my wife. But I realize how she is wired. I know if she doesn’t start the laundry first thing, she will not be able to sit and enjoy her coffee. And by the way, I too have almost been sucked up by the vacuum. I know to just stay out of the way. If my wife’s thoughts were a computer screen, she would have multiple windows open, and she would be thinking about all of them at one time. As for me, I usually have one window open at a time, and if I have a second one open, it is usually minimized. So what I’m trying to say is that I used to get frustrated about my wife having to do some chores first thing in the morning, but I’ve come to appreciate how she takes care of things immediately. I’m a procrastinator, so I love that my wife handles things right then and there. And there are times that I could easily look at the negative side of it, but I choose to see how God created her, and it is amazing. And likewise, my wife knows how I enjoy our coffee time in the morning before anybody else wakes up, so she will do what she needs to do and sit with me so we can stay connected. So the next time you are irritated with your spouse, ask God to show you how to focus on their positive character traits. Imagine if God only focused on our negative traits.

Mark Soto