Pity Party Interrupted

Philippians 4:8-"Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."

One day Corlette, my wife, said something that really disappointed me. I went out to the backyard to rake leaves. For about 15 minutes I treated myself to a real “pity party,” increasingly convinced that I should go back in and let her know how hurt I was.
But then, by God’s grace, [Phil 4:8] came to mind. Ha! I thought at first. What’s honorable, right, or lovely about the way she’s treating me? But the Holy Spirit wouldn’t give up. Within a few moments, I grudgingly conceded that Corlette is a good cook. Then I admitted that she keeps a beautiful home, practices wonderful hospitality, and has been very kind and thoughtful toward my family. Then I remembered how much she’d supported me through some difficult times in my work. And didn’t she even take up backpacking because she knew I loved it?
Within minutes my attitude was turned upside down and I saw the offensive comment for what it was, a momentary and insignificant flaw in an otherwise wonderful person. I went back inside, but not to confront Corlette. Instead, I just wanted to give her a hug and tell her how glad I was to be married to her.
Ken Sande in The Peacemaker

How many of us can relate to this story in our own marriages and relationships with other’s? I know I can, and I can tell you there have been plenty of times where I chose to hold onto the offense and allowed anger to boil. This is an example of when we look at the good in our spouse, as oppose to dwelling on the negative, we allow God to create an atmosphere of love, kindness, forgiveness, understanding, grace, and it allows intimacy to grow between us and God, and with our spouse. Ask yourself, how might I apply this to a problem or conflict I’m currently encountering?

Mark Soto