1 John 4:7-8
God's Love and Ours
7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
Last month was a tough month for me. I was in a real funk and couldn’t get out of it. I was getting really frustrated with myself. I kept asking God what was going on. I was short tempered with my wife and kids. I felt irritable (my wife asked if I was going through PMS). She was joking of course, but I didn’t have an answer. My patience was not there. I found myself complaining about things I normally would not complain about. Then one morning my wife and I woke up to have our coffee and were watching Joyce Meyer on television. She was talking about our trials that we go through. She mentioned that God doesn’t always tell why we are going through our trials or funk in my case, but to ask Him to give us the strength to get through it. I stopped asking why and started asking God for His grace, patience, and to give me strength to get through what I was going through. I also had accountability partners and my supportive wife to open up to. Then one morning I was reading through my daily devotional and it lead me to 1 John 4. I realized I was not representing who Jesus is in me. I was not very loving during that month. I like to say that I knew my wife loved me, but she really didn’t like me during that time. Right after that I felt a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt a sense of freedom. I felt the love of my Daddy fill me again. I realize that we need to love, even when we are struggling. I know sometimes it is easier said than done. Remember we love because He first loved us. It says whoever does not love, does not know God. I want to know God. I want to know how to please Him, to know His will for me, to know his deep love for me. Then I want to give it away to others. I know I will have my moments where I may drop the ball, but our Father picks us up, dusts us off, gives us a pat on our back, and says, I am proud of you and I love you. John 13:34 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” We love one another with our words, with our actions, how we listen and empathize, but it starts with our relationship with our Daddy who created us in His image. Let’s love like Jesus loved us by dying on the cross for you and me.
Mark Soto
Friday, March 5, 2010
How To Be A Better Wife
(From A Holy Experience.)
I ask him at the end of the trail, the end of the weekend, the end of fifteen years. I ask him before we set out again.
We sit under the oaks, green banners flying in the wind. There had been a pause in our passing of words back and forth and it was what I was really wondering, so I’d stepped out into the fear (who knows how’d he answer?) and just released the words, slow and quiet, one at a time.
“How could I be a better wife to you?”
His eyes hold me. Like he knew we were coming to this. This bare, unashamed place. Intimacy is only a possibility when we slip out of small talk and gently peel off a layer of the heart. The leaves wave.
I wait while he gathers thoughts, watch the trees in June blue. The curve of his hand cups mine, a sure warm wrapping.
And then he speaks softly, wind in leaves.
Read what this husband answers here. And may the grace of the covenant be yours today.
I ask him at the end of the trail, the end of the weekend, the end of fifteen years. I ask him before we set out again.
We sit under the oaks, green banners flying in the wind. There had been a pause in our passing of words back and forth and it was what I was really wondering, so I’d stepped out into the fear (who knows how’d he answer?) and just released the words, slow and quiet, one at a time.
“How could I be a better wife to you?”
His eyes hold me. Like he knew we were coming to this. This bare, unashamed place. Intimacy is only a possibility when we slip out of small talk and gently peel off a layer of the heart. The leaves wave.
I wait while he gathers thoughts, watch the trees in June blue. The curve of his hand cups mine, a sure warm wrapping.
And then he speaks softly, wind in leaves.
Read what this husband answers here. And may the grace of the covenant be yours today.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
February Winners!!!
Robert and Kay Lee Fukui are our Eden Rock Date-Your-Mate winners for February with the entry of this adventurous date:
"Ok, our entry for this month's date was our vacation last week to Colorado for a ski vacation. We had a great time skiing and dog sledding. (see pictures on our Facebook) We ski'd during the day and hot tubbed at night! The afternoon after our dog sledding, we hung out at the spa and got massages, lunch, steam and jacuzzi. We got to get bundled up with hot chocolate and hang out in front of the fireplace! All in all, a romantic vacation if I do say so myself."
They win three CD's from Alpha Beth Ministries!
ABM's mission is Reaching People--Building Homes!
Pastors Gabe and Dorothy Abdelaziz
of Alpha Beth Ministries
(Daja's Daddy and Mommy!)
(click here to visit their website)
Robert and Kaylee met in June 2004 thanks to the internet! It was a Christian dating website. After chatting on the phone for a week, they met for dinner in Ventura at Eric Erickson's on the pier. Robert reminisces "I guess you could say the rest is history. Although I had to use all of my sales skills and charm to get her to commit to a second date." They got married May 13, 2006.
In their own words....
What do you love about your spouse?
Robert: I love the fact that she is very supportive and will stand up for me. I love that she is willing to listen even if I have nothing to say.
Kay Lee: My husband is the most supportive person that I know. I love how he takes the trash out with me not asking him. His honesty and committed heart is one of the many things that I feel in love with. He is a very hard worker.
Give your best piece of marriage advice:
Robert: Don't always feel the need to be right. You can be so wrong, even when you're right. Your relationship to your spouse is based on trust and support. If you're always worried about being right, your partner will not feel like your equal but your subordinate. Try looking at things through your spouses eyes every now and then. You never know, you might even like it.
Kay Lee: It is ok to say your sorry when it's not your fault. Most people want to be heard even though you might not agree with them. Serve your husband even when you don't feel like it. Brag to all who will listen what a great and wonderful husband that you have.
CONGRATULATIONS MR. AND MRS. FUKUI!!!!!
And remember to Date-Your-Mate and then let us know that you did! And you may be randomly selected to win a cool prize!!!!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
"She's My Wife!"
A man’s wife had Alzheimer’s and had to be placed in a nursing home. Every day that husband would go to the nursing home and spend time with his wife. He would talk to her, read to her, comb her hair, and try to meet her various needs. Before he left her room, he would tell her he loved her and kissed her goodbye. He did this day after day, week after week, and month after month. He never missed a day. Often he would bring her fresh flowers.
After one of his daily visits, a group of nurses asked to meet with him. They spoke admiringly of him and told him that everyone was impressed with his faithfulness and the special way he cared for his wife.
“But we want you to know that you don’t need to come every day to see your wife,” the head nurse said gently. “She doesn’t know that you are here and doesn’t even know who you are. …There is absolutely no need for you to feel like you have to keep coming day after day.”
The husband lifted his head. Tears ran slowly down his cheek. In a quiet voice, he said, “I know she doesn’t know who I am, but I know who she is, and that’s what matters. She is my wife! Fifty years ago I made a covenant with her that I would never leave or forsake her and that I would be with her in sickness and in health. And I intend to keep that covenant.”
Fred Lowery in Covenant Marriage
Matthew 19: 4-6- “ Haven’t you read,” He replied (Jesus), “that at the beginning the Creator (God) ‘made them male and female, ‘ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united (joined) to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
After I read this story, I thought to myself, “This husband truly understands what the covenant of marriage is.”
It is an amazing testimony of one husbands love and commitment to his wife. When he said in sickness and in health, he really meant it. It is sad in today’s world; we don’t understand what a covenant is. It is not a contract that can be voided. A covenant in marriage is a lifetime commitment between husband and wife. It is non-negotionable. In Matthew 19 when the Pharisees tested Jesus on divorce, He takes them back to Genesis 2: 24-25. To leave and cleave was Gods’ command before the law. Before Moses allowed divorce due to the hardness of heart. God designed marriage to last a lifetime. To reflect and reveal who He is. I pray that we as Christians can get back to Gods’ original design of marriage. A covenant that will not be broken.
Even through all the hurt’s and disappointments, through sickness, through financial struggles, and through the attack’s of the enemy. Let no man and no circumstance separate what God has joined together.
Mark Soto
After one of his daily visits, a group of nurses asked to meet with him. They spoke admiringly of him and told him that everyone was impressed with his faithfulness and the special way he cared for his wife.
“But we want you to know that you don’t need to come every day to see your wife,” the head nurse said gently. “She doesn’t know that you are here and doesn’t even know who you are. …There is absolutely no need for you to feel like you have to keep coming day after day.”
The husband lifted his head. Tears ran slowly down his cheek. In a quiet voice, he said, “I know she doesn’t know who I am, but I know who she is, and that’s what matters. She is my wife! Fifty years ago I made a covenant with her that I would never leave or forsake her and that I would be with her in sickness and in health. And I intend to keep that covenant.”
Fred Lowery in Covenant Marriage
Matthew 19: 4-6- “ Haven’t you read,” He replied (Jesus), “that at the beginning the Creator (God) ‘made them male and female, ‘ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united (joined) to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
After I read this story, I thought to myself, “This husband truly understands what the covenant of marriage is.”
It is an amazing testimony of one husbands love and commitment to his wife. When he said in sickness and in health, he really meant it. It is sad in today’s world; we don’t understand what a covenant is. It is not a contract that can be voided. A covenant in marriage is a lifetime commitment between husband and wife. It is non-negotionable. In Matthew 19 when the Pharisees tested Jesus on divorce, He takes them back to Genesis 2: 24-25. To leave and cleave was Gods’ command before the law. Before Moses allowed divorce due to the hardness of heart. God designed marriage to last a lifetime. To reflect and reveal who He is. I pray that we as Christians can get back to Gods’ original design of marriage. A covenant that will not be broken.
Even through all the hurt’s and disappointments, through sickness, through financial struggles, and through the attack’s of the enemy. Let no man and no circumstance separate what God has joined together.
Mark Soto
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
How To Really Fall In Love All Over Again
(Love Affair by Andy Warhol)
After writing the post on Marital Drift and having the song by Erin O'Donnell speak so deeply to my soul, the Lord brought this post before me.
I share an excerpt, but the whole piece is definitely worth your time.
"Funny, how love, this thing muscular and the only eternal, this bridge between our souls, it will sag sorely under pressure, love can’t bear the weight of our expectations, cracking at the joists where I slam foot in demand, where I peer laser sharp in the over analysis. Our bridge has near split, swayed and only grace saves us.
The days and the years, they teach me the startling; love can’t be strong-armed by the tongue. Love isn’t a function of communication. Love’s a function of connection; the gentle whoosh and rush of the blood through the veins, the tender connecting of the one flesh.
Poor communication doesn’t disconnect souls. It’s the disconnected souls who poorly communicate. I am learning.
Words may only magnify the fractures.
It’s the souls that laugh.
That let eyes linger and the fingertips meet, that find their way back to the beginning and share the values and the relive the memory and the flame every morning. How we first fell and ignited. Can I call that place home?"
Read the rest here.
Towards the end of the post the author give a challenge on how to fall in love with your spouse. It's an inspired idea. Please take the time to check it out.
4 minutes times 4 affirmations, 4 hugs, 4 fixations = Fresh Love!
(The Kiss, by Gustav Klimt, 1907)
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Marital Drift
I've been thinking a lot lately about that inevitable (unless you set your eyes on the prize and stay vigilant) thing called marital drift. This has particularly been on the forefront on my mind as I watch multiple friends go through rough patches in their marriages and some getting divorces. It breaks my heart.
Somewhere between running the kids around town to soccer games and getting to business meetings and church events and bills and holidays, life can get lost!
I hate feeling disconnected.
I was talking on the phone with my mother today and my cell phone battery died. We got disconnected. But, in real life, with people and not electronics, the disconnect happens gradually. Sometimes by the time we realize we are disconnected there is a chasm to cross.
It's good to sometimes step back and make an honest evaluation of things. And more importantly to reach out--while the distance is still the kitchen table and not the Grand Canyon.
The other night Gana built a fire in the pit outside. We sat outside for four hours drinking tea and talking. Four hours! It was wonderful! It seems like when we finally slowed down and starting talking, we couldn't stop! We had so much to say and so much stuff stored up!
Now for those that do not have six children under eight years old, this might not seem like a big deal. Maybe you are having simply rivetting coversations with your spouse everyday. But, to be honest, it had been a while since we talked for that long a stretch of time without interruption and without distraction. No computer. No phones. No television. No company. Even no children (they were in bed sleeping).
We are in the process of moving. And in sorting and packing I came across this song from an old Erin O'Donnell album called "A Scrapbook of Sorts." I haven't listened to it in years. But, listening to it the last couple of days this song just spoke deeply to my heart, as I prayed for marriages. The marriages of my friends, family members, in the Church, and even my own.
We keep standing. And if you are tired of standing, you should know that we are standing with you. Together, we are going to make it through.
"Dear Francis, I wouldn't still be here, if I didn't think, we'd get through......"
Somewhere between running the kids around town to soccer games and getting to business meetings and church events and bills and holidays, life can get lost!
I hate feeling disconnected.
I was talking on the phone with my mother today and my cell phone battery died. We got disconnected. But, in real life, with people and not electronics, the disconnect happens gradually. Sometimes by the time we realize we are disconnected there is a chasm to cross.
It's good to sometimes step back and make an honest evaluation of things. And more importantly to reach out--while the distance is still the kitchen table and not the Grand Canyon.
The other night Gana built a fire in the pit outside. We sat outside for four hours drinking tea and talking. Four hours! It was wonderful! It seems like when we finally slowed down and starting talking, we couldn't stop! We had so much to say and so much stuff stored up!
Now for those that do not have six children under eight years old, this might not seem like a big deal. Maybe you are having simply rivetting coversations with your spouse everyday. But, to be honest, it had been a while since we talked for that long a stretch of time without interruption and without distraction. No computer. No phones. No television. No company. Even no children (they were in bed sleeping).
We are in the process of moving. And in sorting and packing I came across this song from an old Erin O'Donnell album called "A Scrapbook of Sorts." I haven't listened to it in years. But, listening to it the last couple of days this song just spoke deeply to my heart, as I prayed for marriages. The marriages of my friends, family members, in the Church, and even my own.
We keep standing. And if you are tired of standing, you should know that we are standing with you. Together, we are going to make it through.
"Dear Francis, I wouldn't still be here, if I didn't think, we'd get through......"
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