Living By Vows

One of my favorite books of all time is a tiny little book called "A Promise Kept." In it Robertson McQuilken, who was the president of Columbia International University, tells the story of his dear wife's slow slide into Alzheimer's Disease. He writes, "Twenty summers ago, Muriel and I began our journey into the twilight. It's midnight now, at least for her. Sometimes I wonder when dawn will break. Even the dread Alzheimer's disease isn't supposed to attack so early and torment so long.

"Yet, in her silent world Muriel is so content, so lovable, I sometimes pray, "Please, Lord, could you let me keep her a little longer?" If Jesus took her home, how I would miss her gentle sweet presence. Oh yes, there are times when I get irritated, but not often. It doesn't make sense. And besides, I love to care for her. She's my precious."

His commitment to his promise to Muriel is so breathtakingly beautiful, if you read the book and don't cry, you'd better check your pulse! It stands in such stark contrast to the ideas of commitment in our post-modern world. In our world if your needs aren't being met your allowed to bail. But to McQuilken, his vows were not just words, but what he lived by.

You can read part of his story in an archived story at Christianity Today. Please go read it and allow the Lord to speak through it to you.

McQuilken writes: The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel "in sickness and in health...till death do us part."....integrity has something to do with it. But so does fairness. She has cared for me fully and sacrificially for all these years; if I cared for her for the next 40 years I would not be out of her debt. Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. But there is more: I love Muriel. She is a delight to me--her childlike dependence and confidence in me, her warm love, occasional flashes of that wit I used to relish so, her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual distressing frustration. I don't have to care for her. I get to! It is a high honor to care for so wonderful a person....It is more than keeping promises and being fair, however. As I watch her brave descent into oblivion, Muriel is the joy of my life. Daily I discern new manifestations of the kind of person she is, the wife I always loved.

Please read the archived article here.

Gaurd Your Heart!

If you have ever watched a boxing match, the referee will bring the two fighters’ together, explain the rules and then tell them to protect yourself at all times. Well the same goes with us when it comes to the enemy. PROTECT YOURSELF AT ALL TMES! “Be on your guard; stand firm in faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love.” (1 Corinthians 16: 13-14). I say this because of something I recently went through. I was in a little bit of a funk a couple of weeks ago. I felt like I was neglecting my duties as a husband, a father, and a son to my Heavenly Father. I found my self depressed, short tempered towards my wife and kids. On one Sunday I didn’t feel like going to church. I was getting a bit frustrated with myself. I came to a point were I could dwell in my funk or I could make a decision to snap out of it. Well I chose to snap out of it. I made the decision to stand strong in the Lord. I felt God telling me to guard my heart. Protect myself at all times. I know we all go through different seasons in our life. Sometimes we just need to make a decision to come in the opposite spirit. We can’t always wait on the next big conference, prophetic word, or a message at church on Sunday. God gave us the authority to speak life into our own lives. We have the authority to end the funk. It is through the Blood of Jesus. We also need to learn to reach out to others in the body of Christ. Stay connected to others. Get involved with a small group at your church. Build relationships with others, have accountability partners. This is how we build community in church. We learn to care and love on others. I was able to pull myself out of my funk with the help of my Heavenly Father and my wife, but there are times we need a church community to depend on. “Stay alert. Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5: 8-9). So, protect yourself at all times. Guard your heart and don’t allow the enemy to steal what belongs to your Heavenly Father.

Mark and Raquel Soto

Dr. Dobson on Marriage

"Married life is a marathon....It is not enough to make a great start toward long-term marriage. You will need the determination to keep plugging....Only then will you make it to the end."

(Love For A Lifetime, p. 120)

Group Date Pictures!

On August 22, Family Cell couples went on a group date to Dave & Busters! What a blast!

Fighting for the safety of the galaxy anyone?

Deal or No Deal?

Girls just wanna have fun!


Draw!

We raced against each other and perhaps proved that men are better drivers:

As married people, it is so important that we cultivate friendships with other married people. We can be open, accountable, encouraging and supportive to one another. And it is so important to remember to play! We get so serious in life--the mortgage, the kids, the in-laws, errands, obligations. Remember that playing together is a really important component of marriage! So, if you haven't dated your mate in a while, put that on the calendar--in pen--ASAP!

"In research at our clinic, my colleague and I have discovered that friendship is the springboard to every other love. Friendships spill over onto the other important relationships of life. People with no friends usually have diminished capacity for sustaining any kind of love. They tend to go through a succession of marriages, be estranged from various family members, and have trouble getting along at work. On the other hand, those who learn how to love their friends tend to make long and fulfilling marriages, get along well with people at work, and enjoy their children." (Alan Loy McGinnis in The Friendship Factor)

The Stander's Affirmation

I AM STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE!... I will not give up, give in, give out or give over 'til that healing takes place. I made a vow, I said the words, I gave the pledge, I gave a ring, I took a ring, I gave myself, I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words... in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad...so I am standing NOW, and will not sit down, let down, slow down, calm down, fall down, look down or be down 'til the breakdown is torn down!

I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances, or listen to prophets of doom, or buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular, convenient, easy, quick, thrifty, or advantageous... nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God's real thing, nor will I seek to lower God's standard, twist God's will, rewrite God's word, violate God's covenant, or accept what God hates, namely divorce!

In a world of filth, I will stay pure; surrounded by lies I will speak the truth; where hopelessness abounds, I will hope in God: where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse; and where the odds are stacked against me, I will trust in God's faithfulness.

I am a STANDER, and I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit.. I have made the choice, set my face, entered the race, believed the Word, and trusted God for all the outcome.

I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones, nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up 'til my marriage is healed.

- Author Unknown
(From Rejoice Marriage Ministries)

Family Worship Time

Every Christian family knows that they are "supposed" to be having devotions or family worship times. And every church go-er thinks that everyone else must be having much more spiritual worship times than they are. Sitting in a parents' meeting at church you wonder how those other parents do it! Your family devotions have started strong and fizzled over the matter of a few days. It starts with you or your spouse reading the Bible or devotional book to the family. The next thing you know the kids are bored and they start to play around or worse, to fight. And you scold them and the whole episode ends with someone in tears. Finally you just wonder "what's the point?!" and throw your hands up in surrender.




Maybe family devotions don't work for your family/kids/personality. Maybe you're just not spiritual enough. Maybe you lack some parenting skills.




I'm here to tell you that none of that is true! You can have wonderfully enriching family worship times. You can do it!




Here are some ideas to help you to start afresh:




First of all, face the facts: Children are wiggly. Children are curious. Children are also blessedly intuitive about spiritual things, you sometimes just have to be prepared for the message taking a different shape than you've experienced in the past.




Let's break that down. Children are wiggly. Some adults are, too! I, for one, have a very difficult time sitting still through a long sermon. So, don't start your devotions thinking you're going to read through Psalm 119 or the genealogies in the books of Moses while they sit there patiently with contented placid expressions on their angelic faces. I couldn't do it, so I don't expect it of my children!




Knowing this, we begin our worship time with some movement. We put on some upbeat worship music, give the kids some scarves or banners and let them dance. In our house (with four active boys) the dancing sometimes includes kung fu moves and break dancing! We set realistic boundaries for the movements. For example, "You must stay in this part of the living room and no jumping off of furniture."






During this active phase, we encourage one another to "Shout it out!" and anyone can call on anyone else to shout. "Hallelujah!" "I love you, Jesus!" and "Yea God!" are the usual replies.




Children are intuitive. After this active phase we have a quiet soaking phase. We put on some music that is more contemplative. We encourage the children to find a spot by themselves. They may sit or lay down. And we pray over them as they soak, asking Jesus to give them gifts. During this time they may sing or talk to God; they may not bug one another. Sometimes during soaking time we give the kids paper and crayons to express something about God.





After this phase, we talk about what they saw, felt or heard. Sometimes it's as simple as, "I asked Jesus to help me be a better big sister." Sometimes it's deep and theological. Sometimes we give them a chance to prophesy to one another. Sometimes this is as simple as "Jesus loves you." Sometimes it's complex, like "Today is a day for healing and mercy." Whatever our kids say, we just encourage it and we don't judge it for depth.



After this, we often read a short portion of Scripture. It might even just be a few verses or a single parable. And we close up in prayer.



Sometimes we let the children plan and lead the worship time.



Children are curious. Let your children ask questions about the Bible, God, prayer, life. Never judge a child for their questions. But, also don't feel like you have to have all the answers either! (One time my four year old asked, "Mom, if Jesus is sitting at the right hand of the Father, who is sitting at God's left hand?" My reply? "Go ask Daddy.") It's OK to say, "I don't know" or "Let's ask the Lord for that answer" or "Let's look that up in the Bible." It's OK to give the children just a piece to the puzzle and let them work it out for themselves.




Children learn by example. So, make faith a normal part of your everyday life.



"Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got! Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates." Deut. 6:5-7 The Message



Your family's spiritual development doesn't have to be (and shouldn't be!) a separate part of your life. It can be as natural as eating cereal for breakfast. If you stress about it, you're much less likely to enjoy it. And if your family isn't enjoying it, it's not likely you'll consistently do it. You don't have to have everything perfect before you have focus on the spiritual development of your family. Wherever you are, start there. Build on what you have. Let everyone participate on whatever level they currently are.

Remember, it's not about rules. It's about building a relationship with God.

FAMILY CELL GROUP DATE!

Get a sitter for the kids and date your mate! :-)

We feel so strongly, as we know you do too, that the fun and romance shouldn't end with the "I DO"! Getting time away from the office, house, kids, yard-work, etc. is SO IMPORTANT! To encourage everyone to keep dating, this Saturday we are having a DATE DAY!

DATE: August 22
TIME: 12 noon until whenever you want
PLACE: Dave and Buster's at the Santa Anita Mall in Arcadia.
WHAT: Lunch, games, laughter, memories

For those who have never been to D&B's, it's a restaurant and arcade for adults! If you register here: http://www.daveandbusters.com/rewards/profile.aspx ahead of time, you can get $10 of free play with a printable coupon! They also have eat-and-play combo's to make it an even more affordable date!

Please let us know if you plan on attending so we can reserve a big table for all of us! Call Daja at 626-584-1667 or drop me an email.

See you Saturday! We promise it will be more fun than this: