Family Worship Time

Every Christian family knows that they are "supposed" to be having devotions or family worship times. And every church go-er thinks that everyone else must be having much more spiritual worship times than they are. Sitting in a parents' meeting at church you wonder how those other parents do it! Your family devotions have started strong and fizzled over the matter of a few days. It starts with you or your spouse reading the Bible or devotional book to the family. The next thing you know the kids are bored and they start to play around or worse, to fight. And you scold them and the whole episode ends with someone in tears. Finally you just wonder "what's the point?!" and throw your hands up in surrender.




Maybe family devotions don't work for your family/kids/personality. Maybe you're just not spiritual enough. Maybe you lack some parenting skills.




I'm here to tell you that none of that is true! You can have wonderfully enriching family worship times. You can do it!




Here are some ideas to help you to start afresh:




First of all, face the facts: Children are wiggly. Children are curious. Children are also blessedly intuitive about spiritual things, you sometimes just have to be prepared for the message taking a different shape than you've experienced in the past.




Let's break that down. Children are wiggly. Some adults are, too! I, for one, have a very difficult time sitting still through a long sermon. So, don't start your devotions thinking you're going to read through Psalm 119 or the genealogies in the books of Moses while they sit there patiently with contented placid expressions on their angelic faces. I couldn't do it, so I don't expect it of my children!




Knowing this, we begin our worship time with some movement. We put on some upbeat worship music, give the kids some scarves or banners and let them dance. In our house (with four active boys) the dancing sometimes includes kung fu moves and break dancing! We set realistic boundaries for the movements. For example, "You must stay in this part of the living room and no jumping off of furniture."






During this active phase, we encourage one another to "Shout it out!" and anyone can call on anyone else to shout. "Hallelujah!" "I love you, Jesus!" and "Yea God!" are the usual replies.




Children are intuitive. After this active phase we have a quiet soaking phase. We put on some music that is more contemplative. We encourage the children to find a spot by themselves. They may sit or lay down. And we pray over them as they soak, asking Jesus to give them gifts. During this time they may sing or talk to God; they may not bug one another. Sometimes during soaking time we give the kids paper and crayons to express something about God.





After this phase, we talk about what they saw, felt or heard. Sometimes it's as simple as, "I asked Jesus to help me be a better big sister." Sometimes it's deep and theological. Sometimes we give them a chance to prophesy to one another. Sometimes this is as simple as "Jesus loves you." Sometimes it's complex, like "Today is a day for healing and mercy." Whatever our kids say, we just encourage it and we don't judge it for depth.



After this, we often read a short portion of Scripture. It might even just be a few verses or a single parable. And we close up in prayer.



Sometimes we let the children plan and lead the worship time.



Children are curious. Let your children ask questions about the Bible, God, prayer, life. Never judge a child for their questions. But, also don't feel like you have to have all the answers either! (One time my four year old asked, "Mom, if Jesus is sitting at the right hand of the Father, who is sitting at God's left hand?" My reply? "Go ask Daddy.") It's OK to say, "I don't know" or "Let's ask the Lord for that answer" or "Let's look that up in the Bible." It's OK to give the children just a piece to the puzzle and let them work it out for themselves.




Children learn by example. So, make faith a normal part of your everyday life.



"Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got! Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates." Deut. 6:5-7 The Message



Your family's spiritual development doesn't have to be (and shouldn't be!) a separate part of your life. It can be as natural as eating cereal for breakfast. If you stress about it, you're much less likely to enjoy it. And if your family isn't enjoying it, it's not likely you'll consistently do it. You don't have to have everything perfect before you have focus on the spiritual development of your family. Wherever you are, start there. Build on what you have. Let everyone participate on whatever level they currently are.

Remember, it's not about rules. It's about building a relationship with God.