Forgiveness

Family Cell Notes
3/6/09

Forgiveness:

Why must we forgive (especially in marriage)?

-God commands us to forgive.
Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ forgave you.”

Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your heavenly Father forgive your trespasses.”

Forgiveness is a decision I make to obey God.
One definition of marriage is inexhaustible forgiveness.

Drop Your Grudges
-Did you know that the longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets?
-On the other hand, when we choose to forgive, we shed a huge burden that simply doesn’t need to weigh us down.
-Holding a grudge is the same as passing a judgment on someone else or your spouse. Matthew 7:1-2 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” (This is called the boomerang effect)
-Judging, just like taking vengeance, belongs to God, not us. Romans 12:19 “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord”
-God is the only true Judge.
-People who wrong others are offending God at the same time.
-Lay down your grudges and let go of your desire to see justice done.
-Relieve yourself of the responsibility that actually belongs only to God.

Resolving Conflict Requires Forgiveness
-God insists that we are to be forgivers and in marriage, probably more than any other relationship, presents frequent opportunities for practice.
-We don’t forgive under duress, scratching and screaming in protest. We do it with a gentle spirit and love. (Eph. 4:32)

The Seventy Times Seven Club
-We should take out a joint membership in this club. Matthew 18:21-22 Peter asked, “Lord how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” As you can see inexhaustible forgiveness is required in marriage.


Prayerfully Apply the Oil of Forgiveness
-Mixing forgiveness with the habit of praying together is one way to reduce friction and make marriage run more smoothly.
-How can you remain angry at someone who is praying blessings over you daily and asking forgiveness for wrongs committed?

Forgiveness Does Not...
-Forgiveness does not mean excusing sin.
-Forgiveness does not mean that you will forget the offender’s sin.
-Forgiveness does not require denying or stuffing your feelings.
-Forgiveness does not always lead to instant reconciliation.

Forgiveness Does
-Forgiveness is proactive (you make a decision to obey God)
-Forgiveness embraces the offender. Luke 23:34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”
-Forgiveness surrenders the right to get even

-Is there anything you need to ask your spouse to forgive you for today?
-Are you holding onto an offense that needs to be released by granting forgiveness towards your spouse?
-Remember we all stumble; we all make mistakes in marriage.
-Do not keep a record of wrongs against your spouse. Wipe your spouse’s record clean through forgiveness, just as your Heavenly Father has done for you.


Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Psalm 103:12 “…as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us…”

Jeremiah 31:34 “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

Forgiveness Is A Decision I Make

To Obey God.