The D Word

I stumbled across an excellent blog post that I wanted to share with you. It pretty much captures everything I want to say to my generation--many so ready to jump ship on their marriages!

Here's a teaser, but I encourage you to read the whole thing!


I'm from a broken home myself. My parents divorced when I was too young to even know, and for years and years afterward I was in the middle of their little game of tug of war. If I could change my life, I would want them to stay together. I don't know that I would've wanted them to stay together the way they were - with the anger and resentment - but in my mind it would've been a triumph if they had overcome that - and would have spared me a lot of pain in life. If they could've managed to even be civil to one another under one roof, I have doubt at all in my mind that my life would've been a whole lot better.

I find it very irritating when people say that it's "better for the kids" if they divorce. Statistics do not hold that to be true. Most couples fight. And most studies I have seen say those children are still better off than children of divorce. Both economically and emotionally. A lot of people just use that as a rationale because they are going to divorce anyway for reasons other than the sake of the kids, and they don't want to feel guilty about it. But it isn't better for the kids. It hurts children when parents divorce, and it goes on hurting for a long time.....

They always say that relationships are built on trust. In my opinion, it's more about forgiveness than trust. Anyone you trust is going to let you down sometimes. Everyone falls short sometimes in life, but especially from the high expectations of an adoring spouse.

And it's about kindness too. No one wants to live with someone with whom there is no peace. If you can't be kind to one another, then I say grow up and learn how to be kind. I don't mean fake-kind with gritted teeth behind the smile. I mean truly kind, from the heart. If you find it so difficult to be truly kind, then deep down you are harboring anger - which springs from unforgiveness. I don't say, well if you can't be kind just call it quits. No, because then you will remarry and the whole process will start all over again with someone else because guess what! He's going to be imperfect too! Don't bother trying to tell your spouse WHY you are harboring unforgiveness, this is guaranteed to put them on the defensive and start a new fight - just forgive and move on!

Read the rest at Be Still My Soul. It's really worth the read! Go check it out!!