Marriage & Money

The minivan was loaded down with suitcases, sunscreen and disposable cameras. One thing Mary and Bob forgot to bring to Disneyland, though, was financial communication.
Mary had convinced Bob to take this family vacation. They made plans for the trip, but in their minds, the plans looked different. Bob decided the family would carry sandwiches into the park and would most certainly not buy gifts and souvenirs. Unfortunately, he didn’t let his wife know. Mary hoped they could enjoy their vacation without worrying about a tight budget, but she didn’t voice her expectations to Bob, either.
Because of their lack of communication, the entire family was miserable, and the main goal of enjoying a fun, memorable vacation was thwarted. If Bob and Mary had only known how to be more honest and open about their financial decisions, their costly trip to California could have been worth every penny.
This story is all too common. In fact, most couples are able to recount similar experiences of poor financial communication. Talking about money doesn’t always come naturally, but the following tips can make the process a little easier:
-Identify each other’s money personality.Your money personality is the way you naturally tend to handle money. It is not a skill
such as making a budget or balancing a checkbook, but rather a predisposition toward finances. For example, you might be a spender, saver, risk taker or security seeker. As you identify money personalities, avoid making value judgments. No personality is more desirable than another, and each has its own strengths and weaknesses.
-Do a money dump.
Lay out all your thoughts and concerns about money. Talk about what each person is bringing to the table as far as debt, spending habits, future financial goals, and so on.
If one person is ruining your credit score, address the issue. If one of you is frustrated at having to report to the other about each coffee purchase, talk about it.
In short, get it all out.
-Have frequent money huddles.You need to talk regularly about finances. Even if one person is managing the money, both spouses need to give input about budgeting and spending.
It is also wise to set a limit on how much each of you can spend without the other’s approval. This keeps you both accountable and reduces surprises on bank statements.
As your financial communication improves, money woes and marital tension can be sent packing, creating a more blissful home.

Bethany and Scott Palmer are financial advisors and the authors of “First Comes Love, Then Comes Money”. For more financial resources from the Palmers, Visit themoneycouple.com.

UPCOMING EVENTS!!!

Attention Eden Rock Families!!! We have some GREAT things coming up and you will not want to miss out!!!




1. GOOD FRIDAY!

Our next Eden Rock meeting is GOOD FRIDAY! So, to encourage Family Time for Easter, we are hosting a special Good Friday service. Same time, different location! So, take note! We will meet at Ambassador Auditorium at 7pm on Friday, April 2nd. The grown-ups will be watching The Passion of The Christ together and the children will be watching The Jesus Film and having special Easter Themed crafts. Please bring your whole family and invite your friends!!!



2. Calling all CAMPERS!

September 16-19, Carpentaria State Beach. Get away for a few days with your family for a relaxing time tent-camping by the beach! $85 per family. SPACE IS VERY LIMITED! So register right away! FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE! Register with The Sotos or The Gombojavs.


3. DATE YOUR MATE! At the April 2nd meeting we will draw names for April's DATE YOUR MATE giveaway! This months prize is AWESOME! And autographed copy of Real Life Marriage by Tim and Anne Evans! (We blogged about this book here) If you haven't entered our giveaway in the past, click here and you can read the fine print. Basically, just let us know if you went on a date with your spouse and we'll enter you! A winner is randomly drawn from all entries. Our prize vault is growing. So, enter!!!! And tell your friends. You do not have to be an Eden Rock attendee to participate!!!



SEE YOU SOON!!!!

March Winners!

With their date of a movie and homemade cookies, Rex and Chuie Nishimura have won our Date-Your-Mate Giveaway for March!  Rex and Chuie have been married for almost 13 years and have three beautiful children whom they homeschool!  When asked how they balance marriage and parenting they said, "We compliment each other well. He likes to plan and research trips. I make sure we bring what we need on the trips."  It's fitting that they go to H-Rock, because rocks just happen to be their passion, as you'll see in their slideshow!  ENJOY!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

So, what did they win?  Two (count 'em, TWO) CD's from H-Rock's very own, Kenny Peavy!!!

If you've been to H-Rock, you already know and love Kenny's music!  Where can you get your hands (or ears) on Kenny's music besides Sunday mornings at H-Rock?  Introducing Kenny's new website:  http://www.kennypeavy.com/!  There you can see pictures, listen to the music, link to his Twitter and Facebook pages, and most importantly order a CD!  His CDs can also be purchased through the church's website.

Don't forget to visit all our Date-Your-Mate sponsors by clicking on their buttons on the sidebar!

We have some amazing prizes collecting in our prize vault!  So, get out there and date!  Even if you don't win, you win, because time with your Love is an investment in your marriage!

Some good parenting advice, too late

Never Stop Studying

We have been married almost 10 years. 

When we first got married Gana worked for a construction company and had to set out in the morning at the ungodly hour of 5am!  I used to get up and make him breakfast which he would never really eat.  Finally he just asked me to make him a piece of toast and coffee.

I took this to mean that he was not a big breakfast eater.

So, I never really made him breakfast.  The kids eat oatmeal most mornings (which Meg makes).  I eat with them, drinking tea or coffee.  He eats toast or pan dulce or something like that and has a cup of coffee before work.

That is until recently.  I was sitting with him watching TV and a commercial came on for some fastfood breakfast sandwich.  He said, "That looks good."  I replied with, "What?  You don't eat breakfast."  He replied with, "That's because you don't make it."  I replied with, "That's because you don't like breakfast!"  He replied with "How did you get that idea?!"

Rewind..................

Turns out his rejections of my breakfasts when we first got married were not because he hated breakfast, but more because he hated 5am.  Turns out he likes breakfast and wishes I would make him a more interesting breakfast each morning.

Just goes to show you, even after you've been married a while, don't stop learning about your mate!  Don't assume you know him or her.  I bet there are a few assumptions you have about your spouse that could be challenged.

Have fun studying your spouse.  I'm off to fry some sausage and eggs.

How We Love!

1 John 4:7-8

God's Love and Ours

7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Last month was a tough month for me. I was in a real funk and couldn’t get out of it. I was getting really frustrated with myself. I kept asking God what was going on. I was short tempered with my wife and kids. I felt irritable (my wife asked if I was going through PMS). She was joking of course, but I didn’t have an answer. My patience was not there. I found myself complaining about things I normally would not complain about. Then one morning my wife and I woke up to have our coffee and were watching Joyce Meyer on television. She was talking about our trials that we go through. She mentioned that God doesn’t always tell why we are going through our trials or funk in my case, but to ask Him to give us the strength to get through it. I stopped asking why and started asking God for His grace, patience, and to give me strength to get through what I was going through. I also had accountability partners and my supportive wife to open up to. Then one morning I was reading through my daily devotional and it lead me to 1 John 4. I realized I was not representing who Jesus is in me. I was not very loving during that month. I like to say that I knew my wife loved me, but she really didn’t like me during that time. Right after that I felt a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt a sense of freedom. I felt the love of my Daddy fill me again. I realize that we need to love, even when we are struggling. I know sometimes it is easier said than done. Remember we love because He first loved us. It says whoever does not love, does not know God. I want to know God. I want to know how to please Him, to know His will for me, to know his deep love for me. Then I want to give it away to others. I know I will have my moments where I may drop the ball, but our Father picks us up, dusts us off, gives us a pat on our back, and says, I am proud of you and I love you. John 13:34 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” We love one another with our words, with our actions, how we listen and empathize, but it starts with our relationship with our Daddy who created us in His image. Let’s love like Jesus loved us by dying on the cross for you and me.

Mark Soto

How To Be A Better Wife

(From A Holy Experience.)

I ask him at the end of the trail, the end of the weekend, the end of fifteen years. I ask him before we set out again.



We sit under the oaks, green banners flying in the wind. There had been a pause in our passing of words back and forth and it was what I was really wondering, so I’d stepped out into the fear (who knows how’d he answer?) and just released the words, slow and quiet, one at a time.


“How could I be a better wife to you?”


His eyes hold me. Like he knew we were coming to this. This bare, unashamed place. Intimacy is only a possibility when we slip out of small talk and gently peel off a layer of the heart. The leaves wave.


I wait while he gathers thoughts, watch the trees in June blue. The curve of his hand cups mine, a sure warm wrapping.


And then he speaks softly, wind in leaves.

Read what this husband answers here.  And may the grace of the covenant be yours today.