Accountability Keeps it Real

· Let Someone Sharpen You
- How many high profile people have fallen prey to temptation;
especially sexual temptation.
- In 2 Samuel 12, Nathan the prophet spoke into King David’s life.
- David had an adulterous affair with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah.
She became pregnant by David. Then David goes on to have Uriah
killed in battle.
- Nathan, sent by God tells King David a story about a rich man and
the poor man. The rich man had exceedingly many flocks and the
poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb.
-This poor man raised and nourished this ewe lamb. It grew up
with him and his children. It was a family pet that they all loved
tremendously. It was like a daughter to him.
- It goes on to say that the rich man takes the poor man’s lamb to
prepare a meal for a traveler. The rich man could have easily
taken one from his flock.
- After David heard this story, he was angry at the rich man for
what he did. 2 Samuel 12:5-7- David says, “As the Lord lives, the
man who has done this shall surely die! And he shall restore
fourfold for the lamb, because he did this thing and because he
had no pity.” Than Nathan said to David, “You are the man!”
-As fellow believers in Christ, we need to hold each other
accountable and encourage one other.
-Proverbs 27:5- “Better is open rebuke, than hidden love.”
-It takes an act of submission to God first, then we need to learn to
submit to one another for personal accountability.
-Accountability is a decision we must make. No one can force us.
-We need others to have access into our lives. It keeps us from
isolating ourselves, isolation is where the enemy wants us.
-Martin Luther states, “Without confrontation, faith stagnates.”
-We all need to be sharpened, to grow, to avoid mediocrity, from
becoming lukewarm, and to be encouraged.
· Let Another In
-When you think of some of the famous sports stars, or even high
profile pastor’s that fell to temptation, I wonder how approachable
were they.
-Were they teachable? Did they allow pride or arrogance to get in
their way?
-We are all going to be tempted. It’s what you do with it that
counts.
-When we struggle and when we have accountability partner’s, we
know we are not going at it alone.
-When we build relationships, we are better able to become
transparent with each other. Transparency builds trust.
-Trust will allow us to speak into each others lives.
-Choose someone you are comfortable with, someone you respect.
-Someone who has your permission to speak the truth in love.
-Ephesians 4:25- “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood
and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of
one body.”
-We need to be real with each other. Remember we can fool one
another, but we cannot fool our Heavenly Father.
· How are you really doing?
-That is the real question we need to ask each other.
-We need to get to the heart issue as men.
-So it is time to be accessible to one another.
-To allow other men into those closed off areas.
-There is no shame, no condemnation. We need to create an
atmosphere where failure is not death.
-We are a new creation with no record of wrong.
-So let’s encourage each other, be transparent, be teachable, let go
of pride, and let go of fear.
-It is not always going to be easy. It can be frustrating, but never
give up on each other.
-Imagine if God would have given up on you.
-Love one another.
-Share your testimonies, your testimony will speak life into
other’s.
-Don’t ever sell yourself short. God is not looking for perfection.
-He is looking for men who are willing to step out in faith.

Mark Soto

December Date-Your-Mate Winner!

At the last cell group meeting, we drew the winner for December Date-Your-Mate!

And the winner is............

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Kevin and Minoska met in college. Kevin proposed to Minoska in April 1996 and they were married June 1, 1996. They have two children, Isabel and Benjamin.

Kevin and Minoska's winning date, going to Taco Bell, wins them a one of a kind calendar, from Jaqueline Kyoda! (Click on the link on our sidebar to learn more about her work!)

Have a happy and romantic December!

Are You The Leader Of Your Home?

Are you as the man taking the spiritual lead in your home or are you sitting back and allowing your wife to take the spiritual leadership role of the home? Marriages and families are falling apart at record numbers today. The sad part is that there is no difference between Christian marriages and non-Christian marriages. There are many factors why marriages are ending in divorce. One reason I would like to point out is the leadership roles that men are taking in their marriages today. A lot of men are sitting back and watching from the bleachers as oppose to being in the game. We are allowing our wives to take up that role where God has intended the man to take ownership of. It is hard enough to run the household, raise children, and be on duty 24 hours a day. Then we as men pile on the responsibility of spiritual head of home. That is too much for anyone person to bear. How loved do you think your wife must feel when she feels that all the responsibility falls on her shoulders. More women today are just burning out. The percentage of married women having adulterous affairs has increased dramatically. When your wife does not feel loved by you as her husband and she is burnt out that is a dangerous place to be. Satan will come like a wolf in sheep’s clothing to tempt her. If you look at Eve in Genesis 3:1- “Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made.” Where was Adam at this time? So how are you covering your wife on a daily basis? We need to start praying for our wives everyday. There are so many areas of their lives that need our prayers as husbands for covering. Start with yourself as her husband, but also pray for her spirit, emotions, motherhood, moods, submission, relationships, beauty, fears, purpose, desires, and the list can go on. Believe you me I got pretty overwhelmed when I started thinking of all the areas that I need to pray for my wife. I just learned that I can’t pray for everything in her life everyday, so I broke it down to a smaller list each day and through the week I cover the areas in her life where God is leading me to pray.


God spoke to Adam about the do’s and don’ts in the Garden of Eden. It was his responsibility to make sure his wife truly understood these commands God gave him. God tells us husbands to love our wives; to dwell with them in understanding; to present them without a blemish; to cherish them. When our wives feel loved, when their love tanks are full, our wives will do anything to serve us as their husbands. We must learn to speak our wives love language. Gary Chapman has a book titled, “The Five Love Languages” men’s edition. I highly recommend it to all married men. It teaches us how to recognize our wife’s love language and how to speak it to her. It is time to humble ourselves as men and take ownership of our marriage and families. We need to stop shifting blame and stop hiding our shame. Shame is a lie of the enemy to keep us in bondage. After Adam and Eve ate of the fruit it says their eyes were open. They realized they were naked. And when God called for Adam he hid because he was afraid. This is where shame, fear, guilt, and condemnation entered into our lives and marriages. We have a tendency to hide and isolate ourselves when we struggle in our daily lives and in our marriages. The enemy’s mission is to destroy our marriage and families. But when we confess all our sins, our shame, our fears, our guilt, it releases us of the condemnation and allows God to restore us. We must truly repent and turn from our ways. We have all been their one time or another in our lives and maybe you are there today. No more excuses! Adam then goes on to tell God that it was the woman You gave me. That was his opportunity to confess his sins, but he chose to shift the blame on Eve and God. Men, we do this today when we are frustrated, tired of our wives nagging, complaining, and lack of respect. But instead of saying my wife is messed up, why don’t we ask God to show us where we are failing in our homes. I guarantee you that if your wife felt loved and cherished by you, she would not have much to complain about. You will reap the love from your wife when you sow into her.
How many of you know that we serve a good God? God goes on to clothe Adam and Eve, to cover up their shame. God also gave us Jesus to die on the cross so we can be restored to our rightful place as his children, in our marriages, and in our families. So men ask yourself if you are doing your part as servant leader. Are you taking charge of your family? Are you serving with love and a joy in your heart? I know there was a time when I sat back and did not take the role of spiritual leader. I can tell you from experience that I learned the hard way. Thank you God for humbling me as a man and continuing to humble me. It is time to take off that mask if you are wearing one and stop acting like everything is ok in your marriage. Let’s not hide behind the lie of shame. We need more men who are willing to be real and allow God and other brother’s in Christ to speak into their lives. So men I challenge you today to step up to the servant leader of your homes. To equally submit yourself as husband’s. Remember you don’t have to do it all on your own. God blessed you with a comparable helper in your wife. But she needs you to take initiative in your home. Being a provider is great, but you also need to be a protector, a supporter, a helper, a friend, and a lover. When you step into your role as a man, a husband, and a father, as God commanded you, you will not regret it. You will be a blessed man.

Mark Soto

Slow Fade

I'm More In Love Today!

I love my wife Raquel more today than I ever have before. It is my wife’s birthday tomorrow. I have been doing a lot of thinking, praying about all the things I am thankful for. Of course yesterday was Thanksgiving. I am truly a blessed man to have my beautiful wife Raquel in my life. She has definitely made me a better man. We have been together for 18 years. I can’t say that all those years were the best of times, but for all that we have been through I would not change a thing. I thank God that He took a marriage on the verge of divorce and is now using us to minister into other couples marriages. How good of a Father do we serve! There was a time when my wife told me that she did not love me anymore. She actually told me that I disgusted her. But when we allow God to work in our circumstances and hand it over to Him, we allow God to create miracles. And a miracle He did in our marriage. When I look back at all that my wife and I have been through, it brings a smile to my face to see how far God has brought the both of us. My love for her grows every day. It’s not that we don’t have our moments when we irritate or get on each others nerves, we do, but it's that God has shown me to look past those areas of our marriage and see the beautiful bride He has blessed me with. My wife is truly a godly woman. She walks it every day of her life. She is an example to our daughters of what a godly woman looks like. Thank you babe for passing on a gift like that to our precious girls. She is more beautiful today than the day I met her. We were not Christians when we first met. When I met her she was smoking hot. Not only is she smoking hot today, but she radiates the beauty of God. I could honestly say, she has got the whole package. She loves the Lord with all her heart, mind, body, and soul. She is a wonderful wife who truly makes me feel like the luckiest guy in the world. God really loves me! She is the sweetest mother to our two girls, our son and our daughter-in-law. And she is going to be the hottest grandma around. So babe, thank you for loving me as I am. I love you too much to not try and become that godly man that God commands me to be. You deserve the best that I have to offer. Even though I am not perfect and will make mistakes, I will continue to allow God to show me where I need to grow. Thank you for all the hard work you do to serve us. I know your job as a mother never ends. You are an amazing woman. I look forward to the years ahead. So, Happy Birthday Babe, I love you more and more every day.

Love Always,
Mark (your hubby)

Choose An Attitude For Gratitude

Where has your attitude been ? Has it been an attitude of thankfulness/gratefulness or of complaining? Ephesians 5:20- “Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Thanksgiving is just a few days away. How great is it to live in a country that dedicates a day to give thanks to God. It is truly a time when family gathers together and gives thanks and enjoys good food and watches some football. Unfortunately in today’s society we often go through our daily lives without giving thanks to God. We are a society of the me attitude. It’s about what have you done for me lately as to what can I do for you. Our default response to difficulties in life is to complain, whine, grumble, or blame. We complain about our situation, our self, our marriage, our kids, our finances, and everything else that doesn’t go our way. I am talking about Christians and non-Christians alike. I even include myself in this category of complainers. I thank God that He has really been working on me in this area. If we were to be more thankful in all things as Christians, maybe our divorce rate would not equal or surpass the divorce rate of the secular world.
Romans 8:28- “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Can we see the good in bad? Can we look past our circumstances to see God at work on the other end? I work as a firefighter and over the years I have seen some horrendous things. I recently responded on a traffic accident on the freeway one early Sunday morning. An suv with a family of five crashed into the back of a parked big rig truck on the side of the freeway. A mother and father and there 14 year old son were killed in the crash. There 9 year old daughter and 11 year old son were able to escape out a window before the suv caught fire. Thank God the two young children were not injured in the accident. A passerby stopped and put the children into the back of his pickup truck. When I got on scene I was told that we would be treating the two children that survived. A captain explained to me that both there parents and 14 year old brother were killed and that they did not know yet. My partner and I carried the two children from the truck to the back of our ambulance. My heart was torn for them. I’ll be honest, at first I didn’t even know how to act. Knowing they just lost there family. They were beautiful children. When I started talking to them I found out that they were headed to their grandparent’s house in Oregon to celebrate Thanksgiving. The 11 year old boy then asked me if his parents and brother were dead. It really hit me; I told them that I didn’t know, that we were there to take care of them. I knew they had a sense that they might be dead, but they had some hope at that point. We transported them to the hospital. I gave them both a big hug and they both thanked me for being so kind to them. As I walked out of the hospital I began to cry for them. I can honestly say it is the first time I cried as a firefighter. I don’t have a problem with crying; just ask my wife and kids. They actually call me a big sensitive baby. I’m proud that God has softened my heart to that point.


It was on my way home that morning when I got off my shift that I felt convicted. It really put life into perspective of how we take for granted things in life. I kept thinking of those two children who just lost there family. The pain and suffering they will go through. He convicted me of the things I complain about. When a car drives to slow in front of me when I’m in a hurry. Standing in a checkout line at the market when all the other lines are moving faster. When the last person in the bathroom doesn’t change the toilet paper roll when it only has two little squares left on it. It could be when our phone is ringing all day, or having to go somewhere when all you want to do is stay home and relax. I thought to myself, how pitiful it is to complain about these meaningless things. Once again I thought about those two children and there loss. Someone just lost a son, a daughter, and a grandson.
We all go through trials and sufferings in life. Dr. Jerry Sitzer wrote a book called, “A Grace Disguised” after losing his wife, 4 year old daughter, and mother in a tragic car accident. In the book he states, “It’s not so much what happens to you that matters, it’s how you respond to it.” Is your circumstance going to drive you away from God, or is it going to drive you closer to God. When we respond in faith, we can look beyond our circumstance and see God at work in it. It is then we can give thanks to God in our circumstance no matter how difficult it may seem or be. Paul says in Philippians 4:11- “For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance.” Not only does this bring joy in our lives, but we also model thankfulness, contentment, gratitude, and a faith in God to our children. We teach them how to handle the storms of life that will come. That they must be rooted in Christ Jesus first. Our children learn by our example. 1 Thessalonians 5:16- “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.” I don’t know about you, but I want to live this will that God has for us in my life, my marriage, and see it in my children’s life. How can we not be thankful knowing Jesus died on the cross for us? Remember we were bought at a price.


Let’s make a choice today to have an attitude for gratitude. I’m thankful to wake up every morning to another day of life. I’m thankful to be able to walk, talk, hold my wife and children, or even to have teeth to brush and hair to comb. I’m thankful for what God has in store for me and my family. So ask yourself, are you truly thankful for your wife/husband? If so, do you tell them how thankful you are for them? Do you thank your children for who they are? How about thanking janitors, bus boys in restaurants, house keepers in hotels, and the list can go on. As Christians, we should stand out from the rest of the world. So let’s learn to be thankful in all things. Let’s give our worries to the Lord. Let’s do things without complaining and allow the love of Christ to shine through us for the world to see.
Psalm 100:4-5- “Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations.”

Mark Soto

Relationships

Life is relationships;
the rest is just details.
Gary Smalley

God has been talking to me about relationship. It's a word that gets thrown around a lot these days and so seemingly has no meaning. I detest when someone says that he or she is "in a relationship." What does that even mean? I'm in lots of relationships- -I'm a wife to my husband, a mother to my children, a daughter to my parents, a sister, a friend, a cell leader, a teacher, a church member, etc. These are all relationships. Usually when people say that they are "in a relationship" they mean they are having emotional or sexual encounters or soul-weaving with someone that is not defined by any covenant, legal agreement, or set of binding obligations. The expectations are very vague. There is no protection. No one says that they are "in a relationship" with their bank teller. No one says they are "in a relationship" with their children. These true relationships are defined by their very names. The obligations of both parties are understood.



Our God is a God of relationship. It's not just something God likes, but WHO GOD IS! God is defined in terms of relationship- -Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And He created us FROM relationship- -"Let us make man in Our image." He created us FOR relationship. And He is always leading us back TO relationship. "If we walk in the light as He is in the light we have fellowship with one another." When we are walking with God (in relationship) we have fellowship (proper relationship) with one another! (I John 1:7) When God built the Church He used the patterns of a BODY and a FAMILY. Relational terms!



I think this is why Satan is always trying to attack people in the area of relationships. It's not God who prompts people to bail on their marriages (or settle for a second rate one). It's not God who causes people to church hop as if Christian fellowship is a Hometown Buffet. It's not God who causes division among brother and sisters in Christ causing them to exalt issues above relationships.



I Corinthians 1:10, "Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment."




Over and over again lately God keeps causing the message of godly, covenant relationships to leap out from the Scriptures, from prophecies, from stories. God just keeps saying: RELATIONSHIP, RELATIONSHIP, RELATIONSHIP.



In our busy, busy society one has to make effort and carve out time for relationships. Sometimes projects overshadow brotherhood and calendars overshadow marriages. Lately, I've been striving to be less busy, even saying no to GOOD THINGS so that I can save my time for the BEST THINGS. And the best things are relationships. I've been having more tea with friends, playing more with the kids, having more families over for dinner just because, etc. It's been enriching!


Family Cell Group has been a really important area of relationship building in the past year. Some of us have made the conscious choice to stick together through life's messy challenges. Like iron sharpening iron we've each been changed and challenged and perfected. That's a godly relationship. Godly relationships are not all roses and tea parties (although who doesn't like those! *smile*). But, godly relationships sometimes FORCE us to be more like God created us to be. That's not always easy or comfortable. But the result is BEAUTIFUL!

Thank you all for being a beautifying agent in our lives. Thank you for just being there. Your consistent presence has spoken to me of the consistency of the Lord. You are a beacon of covenant relationship light in a world of relational darkness!