Are You The Leader Of Your Home?

Are you as the man taking the spiritual lead in your home or are you sitting back and allowing your wife to take the spiritual leadership role of the home? Marriages and families are falling apart at record numbers today. The sad part is that there is no difference between Christian marriages and non-Christian marriages. There are many factors why marriages are ending in divorce. One reason I would like to point out is the leadership roles that men are taking in their marriages today. A lot of men are sitting back and watching from the bleachers as oppose to being in the game. We are allowing our wives to take up that role where God has intended the man to take ownership of. It is hard enough to run the household, raise children, and be on duty 24 hours a day. Then we as men pile on the responsibility of spiritual head of home. That is too much for anyone person to bear. How loved do you think your wife must feel when she feels that all the responsibility falls on her shoulders. More women today are just burning out. The percentage of married women having adulterous affairs has increased dramatically. When your wife does not feel loved by you as her husband and she is burnt out that is a dangerous place to be. Satan will come like a wolf in sheep’s clothing to tempt her. If you look at Eve in Genesis 3:1- “Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made.” Where was Adam at this time? So how are you covering your wife on a daily basis? We need to start praying for our wives everyday. There are so many areas of their lives that need our prayers as husbands for covering. Start with yourself as her husband, but also pray for her spirit, emotions, motherhood, moods, submission, relationships, beauty, fears, purpose, desires, and the list can go on. Believe you me I got pretty overwhelmed when I started thinking of all the areas that I need to pray for my wife. I just learned that I can’t pray for everything in her life everyday, so I broke it down to a smaller list each day and through the week I cover the areas in her life where God is leading me to pray.


God spoke to Adam about the do’s and don’ts in the Garden of Eden. It was his responsibility to make sure his wife truly understood these commands God gave him. God tells us husbands to love our wives; to dwell with them in understanding; to present them without a blemish; to cherish them. When our wives feel loved, when their love tanks are full, our wives will do anything to serve us as their husbands. We must learn to speak our wives love language. Gary Chapman has a book titled, “The Five Love Languages” men’s edition. I highly recommend it to all married men. It teaches us how to recognize our wife’s love language and how to speak it to her. It is time to humble ourselves as men and take ownership of our marriage and families. We need to stop shifting blame and stop hiding our shame. Shame is a lie of the enemy to keep us in bondage. After Adam and Eve ate of the fruit it says their eyes were open. They realized they were naked. And when God called for Adam he hid because he was afraid. This is where shame, fear, guilt, and condemnation entered into our lives and marriages. We have a tendency to hide and isolate ourselves when we struggle in our daily lives and in our marriages. The enemy’s mission is to destroy our marriage and families. But when we confess all our sins, our shame, our fears, our guilt, it releases us of the condemnation and allows God to restore us. We must truly repent and turn from our ways. We have all been their one time or another in our lives and maybe you are there today. No more excuses! Adam then goes on to tell God that it was the woman You gave me. That was his opportunity to confess his sins, but he chose to shift the blame on Eve and God. Men, we do this today when we are frustrated, tired of our wives nagging, complaining, and lack of respect. But instead of saying my wife is messed up, why don’t we ask God to show us where we are failing in our homes. I guarantee you that if your wife felt loved and cherished by you, she would not have much to complain about. You will reap the love from your wife when you sow into her.
How many of you know that we serve a good God? God goes on to clothe Adam and Eve, to cover up their shame. God also gave us Jesus to die on the cross so we can be restored to our rightful place as his children, in our marriages, and in our families. So men ask yourself if you are doing your part as servant leader. Are you taking charge of your family? Are you serving with love and a joy in your heart? I know there was a time when I sat back and did not take the role of spiritual leader. I can tell you from experience that I learned the hard way. Thank you God for humbling me as a man and continuing to humble me. It is time to take off that mask if you are wearing one and stop acting like everything is ok in your marriage. Let’s not hide behind the lie of shame. We need more men who are willing to be real and allow God and other brother’s in Christ to speak into their lives. So men I challenge you today to step up to the servant leader of your homes. To equally submit yourself as husband’s. Remember you don’t have to do it all on your own. God blessed you with a comparable helper in your wife. But she needs you to take initiative in your home. Being a provider is great, but you also need to be a protector, a supporter, a helper, a friend, and a lover. When you step into your role as a man, a husband, and a father, as God commanded you, you will not regret it. You will be a blessed man.

Mark Soto