Are You Lifting Her Up?

Yes men, are we lifting up our wives and our daughter’s? I was recently convicted about all the things my wife does around the house that goes unnoticed or goes without a thank you. My wife hurt her neck and was pretty much on her back for two weeks. I had the privilege to take care of her plus all the other responsibilities that she normally handles. I have to admit, there were times I got frustrated with the endless work of running a household and family. I was taking care of my wife, home schooling our youngest daughter, driving my oldest daughter to school and picking her up, volleyball games, laundry, folding and putting them away, breakfast, lunch, dinner, cleaning house, and the list goes on. Just writing about it makes me tired. Well God spoke to me. He reminded me that we should do all things in love and without complaining. That was a big one for me; I was totally feeling sorry for myself. I thought I use to do a good job of supporting my wife with words of encouragement, but I realized there was room for improvement. God revealed how beautifully he designed my wife Raquel. Everything about her is a true woman of God. There are things about her that I truly don’t understand, but I ask God to reveal those things. That week was a long week for me. I have to admit; when I left for work I felt relieved. I am a firefighter, so when I leave for work it is a 24 hour shift. I do get a break away from the hustle and bustle of our household. My wife doesn’t have that luxury. Her job is endless. When the week first began and I was running around trying to juggle all the hats my wife wears. I was just trying to get things done. You could say I was checking boxes. I really wasn’t putting all my effort into it. I then realized, who am I serving, me or my wife? I love the way my wife keeps our house. It is clean all the time and organized. There is definitely a comfort and a peace in our home that my wife brings through her service to us. She has great attention to detail. The colors, the furniture, and the way she arranges the house, I love it. I felt God tell me that I should take care of the house the way my wife does. I know I won’t have the same attention to detail that my wife has, but when I put forth the effort to do the chores the way my wife does, it speaks love to her. I am to nourish and cherish my wife. As her husband I mutually submit to her. It doesn’t bother me that the bed is not made, but it bothers my wife. So when I make the bed, I do with a joy in my heart. It is an honor for me to serve my wife in these areas that means so much to her. Not only am I dying to myself and putting my wife before anything I may think is important. I am also speaking volumes to my daughter’s and adult son on how a husband is to treat his wife. I want my daughter’s to see what a godly man looks like. I know I’m not perfect. I blow it as a husband and a father, but I also use that opportunity to teach them how to apologize and ask for forgiveness. I have had to ask for forgiveness on many occasions. Our actions as men are more influential in our children’s lives then our words. We must be able to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. Our words will fall on deaf ears if we don’t do as we say. It is my responsibility to teach my children who Jesus is through how I treat their mother. I want my daughters to settle for no less than a godly man who loves the Lord and treats them the way God commands them to. I’m still a work in progress, but we must continually ask God to show us how to be that godly image to our wife and children. I’m learning everyday how to lift my wife and children up with kind words. There are times I must remind myself to thank my wife for all she does. It doesn’t always come natural, but God is definitely working on me in these areas. He is working on me because I have been inviting Him into these areas of my life where I struggle. Our words can tear up or tear down. Proverbs 12:18- “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” This is so true, not only for our wives, but our children need to hear encouraging words also. I realize how important it is to our children. My oldest daughter is 13 years old. It is an age where she is very self conscious of her appearance. My words as father speak volumes to her even if at times she acts like it doesn’t. I know as men we could do a better job of lifting up our wives and children not just with words but also with what we do with a servant’s heart. I don’t want to ever get to a point as a husband or father, and soon to be grandfather, where I feel I don’t need to try to better myself. Some of us have more work to do than others, but that is ok. We as men need to make that choice, and then invite God to show us and lead us to be better husbands and fathers. Don’t try to fix it all at once. It will be too over whelming and you will get frustrated and give up. Start with small things that you can stick with. Consistency is very important to our wives and children. It could be as simple as just saying thank you and please. It doesn’t take much, but when your wife see’s you trying, you will reap more than what you sow. Like I said before guys, it is time to step up to the plate. Think about it as it is the bottom of the ninth inning, two outs, bases loaded with a three-two count on you. Are you going to be the hero with the game winning hit or walk off with your head down? I don’t know about you, but I’m running off that field as the hero with thousands of people cheering. I encourage you to start today to lift up your wife and children. We need more heroes in our homes. We need more men who are willing to fight for their families. We need more men who edify their wife and children with words of love, kindness, patience, joy, and with a smile. We need more men who are willing to encourage each other as men.

Mark Soto