Humor in Marriage

by Les Parrott, Leslie Parrott

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." - E.E. Cummings

"Do you two need a tissue?" a voice gently whispered from behind us. We were sitting in a quiet theater watching a somber play when — at the saddest moment — something struck us as funny. Hysterically funny.

At just that moment, Les found a withered old banana in his coat pocket. Who knows how long it had lived there. He set this surprising discovery on my knee. Caught off guard by the incongruity of the banana and the play, I developed one of the worst cases of the giggles I've ever had. Les quickly caught the same disease. We tried desperately to stifle our laughter, but, as we bowed our heads to hide our faces, we couldn't keep our shoulders from shuddering. An older woman behind us, thinking we were moved by what was happening on stage, offered us a tissue for our tears, which made us want to laugh all the more. When Les accepted her kind offer, I really lost it and had to leave the theater.

Just another day in the marriage of Les and Leslie? Not quite, but we do laugh a lot together. The tiniest of things can sometimes set us off — a slight inflection or a knowing glance, for example. We can quote a funny line from a movie or sitcom for weeks. Better still are the unplanned faux pas in front of others that bring embarrassment. We have the same funny bone and can't keep from using it. No wonder we enjoy our marriage.

Laughter bonds people. Any good friend will tell you that laughter is the shortest distance between two people — especially in marriage. But one never knows what's funny to others. In a survey of over fourteen thousand Psychology Today readers who rated thirty jokes, the findings were unequivocal. "Every single joke," it was reported, "had a substantial number of fans who rated it 'very funny,' while another group dismissed it as 'not at all funny.'" Apparently, our funny bones are located in different places. Some laugh uproariously at the slapstick of Larry, Moe, and Curly-Joe, while others enjoy the more cerebral humor of Woody Allen.

Wherever you are on this continuum of humor, one thing is certain: Laughter, on a daily basis, is like taking a vitamin for your marriage. And it is a healthy habit all loving couples enjoy.

From The Love List, published by Zondervan. Copyright © 2002, Les and Leslie Parrott. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

Stupid Small in 2011

It's a New Year (Thank the Good Lord!) and this naturally causes us to reflect.  Even if you're not so into New Year's Resolutions, it seems like those first few bars of Auld Lang Syne, cause one to think back (with regret or nostalgia) of the year gone by.  You just can't help but think of what you would like to do differently in the New Year or what things you really hope to see.  When the clock strikes 12 and you're standing there with your glass of bubbly, the inner optimist finds expression in that New Year's kiss.

As you look at your goals for 2011 and if you make any New Year's Resolutions, I think a major key is to not over complicate things.  I came across a blog today that said it so well, that I won't try to reiterate it.  I'll just share it with you:

Here's a taste:

Repeat after me: “The way to scary-good is through stupid-small.”

It sounds silly, but it’s true.

Being silly also helps you from being afraid of it.

Stupid-small is the way to go.

When my wife and I were at our lowest point together, we applied this idea without even knowing it.

We both knew we wanted something better, but it seemed so far off. So we started small. We cleared some things off our calendars, we went to counseling, we talked and spent time together.

We didn’t achieve a better marriage overnight, but we began the journey – and that’s the point.

We did it – so can you.

We are also planning for what will unfold in 2011 – step one was to start stupid small.

You will want to read the rest!!  Visit Simple Marriage!
 
God bless you and your marriage in 2011!
 
"It was rather splendid to be wearing a blade made in Gondolin for the goblin-wars of which so many songs had sung....Go back, he thought. No good at all. Go sideways? Impossible. Go forward? Only thing to do! ON WE GO! So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and pitter." (The Hobbit)

Lead Me - Sanctus Real; a video production of My Bridge Radio

Family Hashing

Hey Dad,

Other than being a little anxious about losing you in the INTERNET Neverland, things are going pretty good. Not at all like a couple of weeks ago.

Maybe it was because we were in the transition zone...caught between summer and school, but the kids were terrible. They were constantly bickering, fighting, and thinking of numero UNO. I know my wife was frazzled, worn out, and wondering when I was going to officially deal with it. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I have a pretty high terrible-kid-tolerance. But enough was enough. Even I was tired of the turmoil.

"Everyone upstairs to the yellow room,” I barked. “We're having a family meeting, and I don't want to hear one complaint.” Normally we meet in the familyroom, but I wanted a change in venue to highlight the seriousness of THIS meeting.

"OK," I began, "this has gone on long enough...things need to change." Then for the next thirty minutes I talked, they talked, I threatened, I talked some more...I asked forgiveness...I talked more, they offered suggestions, and then we closed in prayer.

Later, as we were going through the Wilson bedtime ritual, my son Ike (11) smiled warmly and said to me, "It's weird, Dad, but it felt really good during the family meeting."

That is so funny to me. I mean we've done all kinds of fun family things like going to the beach, eating at Chuck E Cheese’s, traveling across the country...but Ike never EVER said any of it "felt really good." His comment made me wonder if hashing things through as a family "feels" closer and warmer than doing fun things as a family. There must be something comforting and reassuring to know that no matter what---we're a family. We may blow it often, but we still regroup, ask forgiveness, and work together for the common good.

So I was going to encourage you to do something fun as a family this week, but instead let me encourage you to have a family meeting. Ask how things are going; talk about issues that need to be addressed. And whether they verbalize it or not...it will FEEL good. In fact, maybe ‘hashing’ is the best part of family. Go figure.

See you on the other side of the email veil.
You ‘da dad!!!

Todd Wilson- Familyman Ministrieswww.familymanweb.com

Bumber Sticker Dad

Hey Dad,

Just got back from speaking at a Labor Day Family Camp in Lake Geneva, WI. It’s always encouraging to be around a bunch of parents who are in the same boat as we are (it’s a really BIG boat). Lake Geneva Youth Camp is a great facility. The food was stellar, the people wonderful, the grounds beautiful, and The Screamer…well, it made you scream (see photo below).

The only drawback was that we had to brave Chicago traffic. Not only was it congested and slow, but it also seemed as if every road we turned on was under construction.

While we were creeping through Chicago, a bumper sticker not only caught my eye, but also struck a nerve in the deep dad-recesses of my mind. The bumper sticker was just three words on a plain background, but it spoke volumes.

DEER HUNTER'S WIDOW

At first I wasn’t quite sure what it meant, but then I realized that a longer version might read, “My husband is gone so much during deer hunting season that it feels like I’m all alone in our marriage.”

I’m sure the person bought or received it as a joke, but I felt myself getting mad as I stared at the tail end of that car. In fact, I had half a mind to follow the car to its home and chew out the guy for abandoning his family in favor of sitting out in the woods with a bunch of buddies to plug some animal.

As the car pulled away, I began thinking of similar bumper stickers that might have a market.

Golfer’s Widow
Businessman’s Widow
Pastor’s Widow
Football Fan’s Widow
Internet User’s Widow
TV Watcher’s Widow
Traveling Salesman’s Widow

Truth is, many wives feel alone in their marriages, their families, and their lives. They got married thinking they were going to travel life’s highway together hand in hand with their men and what they got were men who were so busy doing their lives that they didn’t have much time for them. It might be one of the reasons why Facebook is so popular among the female folk. We’ve let them down.

Truth is: deer hunting is fun. Golfing and watching football are too. Ministry, business, and our jobs are important. But none of it matters as much as the promise we made to our wives to love, honor, and cherish them.

So let me ask you a question: What kind of bumper sticker would be on your wife’s car?

MY HUSBAND LOVES ME!

You ‘da dad!!!

www.familymanweb.com

Grace for Fugitives

God’s grace is more expansive than our sin. The whole story of Jonah is God going after depraved, fallen fugitives.
We basically understand why God pursues Jonah, since he was a prophet and a part of God’s people Israel, and he cared about God, at some level anyway. Jonah’s prayer revealed that he was basically a friend of God, not an enemy.
Yet God also goes after Nineveh. Jonah was pathetic in many ways, but Nineveh was violently wicked, perverse and sadistic. It makes me wonder why God didn’t just do away with the whole nasty place. That would have spared God so much effort.
But the good news is that God’s ability to clean things up is infinitely greater than our ability to mess things up. God’s grace is so massive, so expansive, so wide-ranging, that it tracks down both kinds of runners from God. Those who try to rescue themselves by breaking the rules, and those who try keeping them.
There’s no place where you might be now, or where you might have been in the past, or where you might go in the future, that will ever be beyond the reach of God’s grace, nowhere!
Tullian Tchividjian in Surprised by Grace


Lamentations 3:22-23
22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

Thought to Apply:
Grace means the free, unmerited, unexpected love of God, and all the benefits, delights, and comforts which flow from it. It means that while we were sinners and enemies we have been treated as sons and heirs.

Marriage Expectations (iMarriage-Part 1A)